Undeniable
by Kpeck001
Summary: Set right after Original Song. Santana comes to the realization that she is gay and that she would do anything to be with Brittany.
1. Chapter 1

There was a knock on the door.

"Sweetie, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, mom. Can you please just leave me alone for a few minutes?"

Santana could hear her mom's footsteps heading back down the hall. She didn't mean to snap at her, but this was the third time her mother checked up on her in the last hour. She just needed a little peace and quiet. Some time to clear her head. That seemed like all she could do anymore. She would tell herself that it would all be okay if she could just get some time alone. Clear her head. Did it ever help? No. But she could keep trying.

But every time she tried to clear her head, she would always end up clearing everything but the one thing she wanted to clear most. That one thing that was keeping her from being able to focus on anything. The one obvious truth that was staring her in the face.

Brittany. It was always Brittany.

Santana laid on her bed, cuddling a pillow. She wasn't crying. Not anymore. She was past crying. Santana was now thinking about the "bigger picture". Just a week ago she had professed her love for her best friend. It happens. In fact it's pretty much the plot of every John Hughes era movie. But this was different. She didn't confess love for a friend. It was for her BEST friend. Her best friend who just happened to be a...girl.

Santana rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. She kept going over it in her head. She's loved Brittany since they were kids. They were always together. Always hugging and dancing and doing each others' hair. It wasn't until she got older that she realized that these feelings were strange and different than her feelings for her other friends like Quinn.

But none of that mattered for the longest time. Santana had done a great job at hiding her true feelings. She would sleep around in order to ensure that there were no rumors, as well as boost her popularity. Everything was perfect. Santana got to be best friends with Brittany, her popularity was at an all time high, AND she got to sleep with the one person she truly loved. She got to do this without anyone thinking she was...gay.

Santana sat up. But wait a second, who said I was gay? She immediately regretted thinking of that word. LESBIAN. It sounded so...official. Santana had never been one for labels. Unless those labels were hot or sexy or popular. Just because she had feelings for Brit doesn't mean that she's a flannel wearing, softball playing, motorcycle-riding lesbian. Santana cringed at the thought of walking down the halls of William McKinley High while people called her names. DYKE. LESBO. She ran into her bathroom to splash some cold water on her face.

"Get it together, Lopez" She told herself. She looked in the mirror. What had happened? She used to be so full of confidence. So full of reassurance. All it took were three little words. I love you. Three stupid little words. Santana got angry. Why did I have to say those words? She looked over at her desk. Sitting next to her computer was a picture of her and Brittany from Cheer camp a couple of years back. Santana put the picture face down so she couldn't see Brittany's face. Her mind went crazy. Why did Brit have to push it? I was fine with the way things were. I didn't want to figure out my feelings. I didn't want to sing my heart out for you in front of the whole class. I didn't want to tell you about my fears or put my heart on the line just to watch you break it for wheel boy.

Her heart sank. Artie. Ugh, Artie. How could she choose him? They barely knew each other. Sure he tried to keep her belief in Santa real. And sure, he may have given her a comb to keep her confidence up, which is pretty freaking nasty if you ask me. But what else has he done. I'm the one who's been with her for all these years. I've been by her side for everything. And yet she still chose him.

Santana slumped down in her desk chair. She picked up the picture and set it upright. She looked at their smiling faces then looked away. She didn't know what about this whole ordeal was toughest: the fact that she might lose her best friend, the fact that the woman she loved picked someone else, or the fact that what she's been burying deep inside all along is actually true. She knew she couldn't hide it anymore. Santana looked in the mirror, defeated, and knew...She was gay.


	2. Chapter 2

Santana woke up sore. She looked at the clock. It was ten in the morning. She panicked slightly before realizing that it was Sunday and she didn't have to be in school until tomorrow. Ugh, school. Santana used to be excited for school. Well, not school exactly, but the people she saw while there. Mostly Brittany. Things had been so different between them since the locker confession. Santana couldn't look Brittany in the eyes anymore. She felt hurt, embarrassed, and ultimately guilty for altering their friendship.

Santana walked over to her phone which was sitting on her desk. One unread message. Santana opened it up.

I miss you. –Britts.

Santana stared at the screen for a few moments. She looked up at the mirror on the wall and saw that a smile had crept up on her face. She immediately closed the phone and turned away, angry at herself for smiling. Why did she have to love Brittany? Why couldn't she be like everyone else? It wasn't for a lack of trying. She slept with Puck to gain popularity, Finn to gain notoriety, Sam to be a bitch, and everyone else to make sure there were no rumors. But Brittany...she slept with Brittany because she loved her.

Santana laid back down in her bed. She looked over at the left side, where Brittany would often sleep during their "sleepovers". She closed her eyes and pictured the last time they were there together. It was right before Brittany suggested they talk to someone about their relationship. Right before everything turned to hell. But as much as she wanted to, Santana couldn't be mad at Brittany. Santana knew that Brittany was bound to start questioning the relationship at some point. She just figured maybe Brit would wait until after high school.

Santana went into the bathroom to take a shower. Showers always helped her relax. She turned the water on scalding hot, just how she liked it. She began to shampoo her hair and felt the water burn her skin. She remembered how she would have to turn the temperature down when she would shower with Brittany because she didn't like it as hot as Santana did. A memory popped into Santana's brain. She remembered one time while her and Brittany were having "playtime" in the shower, they both slipped and ended up on the floor of the shower laughing.

Santana couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. She stood there with the hot water on her back for several minutes; thoughts of Brittany drifting through her head. She dropped her head. Why couldn't things be easier? Her mind went to the day she told Brittany the truth.

"Please say you love me back. Please."

Santana winced at the thought of those words. But she also found relief. She had finally said it. After being in love with her best friend for years, she had finally gotten up the courage to tell her the truth. Of course, she wasn't expecting that Brittany would choose Artie. It wasn't fair. They had loved each other for so long. And now all she wanted was Brittany. She literally ached for her.

Then all of a sudden, something clicked. All she wanted was Brittany. Was she really just going to lay down and let Artie win? No. She had loved Brittany longer. She knows her better. She's been there for her through everything. Santana turned off the water and got out of the shower. She looked up at the mirror and saw a new person staring back at her. A new person who was ready to fight for what she wanted. For what was rightfully hers. A person who no longer cared what people would say about her. She saw a person who knew exactly what they wanted and was ready to go get it.

Santana smiled at herself. She was knew what she had to do. She was going to fight for Brittany.


	3. Chapter 3

Santana wrapped a towel around her hair and put on her favorite robe. She came out of the bathroom and walked straight to her desk. She picked up her cell phone and looked at the message again.

I miss you – Britts

Santana chuckled. Brittany loved her. And even though she said she was staying with Artie, she also said that she loved her. Now all Santana had to do was get her from Artie. That's all. Should be easy, getting people to do what she wanted was Santana's specialty. A grin crept up on Santana's face. Time to start planning.

She sat down in front of her mirror and began putting cream on her face. A myriad of ideas popped into her head. Most of the ideas began with pushing Artie down some stairs (a trick she had learned from the one and only Sue Sylvester). Of course, killing Artie would only make Brittany miss him, although Santana sure would feel better. She knew she had to come up with a better plan. But honestly, how hard could it be? She had already broken them up once. All she had to do was do it again. This would be easy.

Santana came up with three basic steps to winning Brittany back. First, make Britt jealous. This would be easy, just get her mack on with Sam anytime Brittany is around. It's not like her and Sam actually talked about anything anyway. Making out was really the only thing they were good at. Second, was to make Artie jealous. This shouldn't be hard. Brittany has slept with half the school and Artie has only slept with her. That kind of thing would make any boyfriend jealous. All she had to do was just make it more obvious. And finally, she had to remind Brittany why they are so great together. Brittany just needed to see that Santana has always been there for her and that she was the obvious choice over Artie.

Santana felt good. This would be a piece of cake. She looked in the mirror and said out loud, "No more moping. No more being sad. That's not who Santana Lopez is. Santana Lopez kicks ass. And it is time for Artie, whatever his last name is, to feel my wrath."

The more Santana thought about her plan, the more she was sure it was fool proof. She even felt a little stupid for being so sad about everything from the last week. Brittany wanted to be with her. She had said so herself. She just couldn't break up with Artie because it was wrong. But if they ever broke up, she'd date Santana. God, it all seemed so simple now.

She looked back at her phone. Those three sweet words were looking right back at her. I miss you. Santana closed her eyes and pictured Brittany standing in front of her. She could practically hear the words escape the blonde's lips. Santana started blushing. Even just pretending that Brittany was here could make her heart flutter. She looked back down at the phone and tried to think of something to send back.

I miss you too Brit Brit. Wish you were here. – San

There, that should do it. Santana smiled, pleased with herself. To be honest, she couldn't wait for tomorrow. With how upset she'd been this past week, she was happy to be back to her old self. Now it was just time to pick out her outfit. It had to be sexy, but not blatantly so. She didn't want Brittany to catch on to what she was doing. What she wore tomorrow needed to be revealing enough to get Britt to notice her, but conservative enough to not seem like she was "trying too hard". She picked out these tight pants that were just tight enough for her to not be able to wear underwear and shirt/vest combo that showed just the right amount of cleavage.

That should do it. Santana smiled to herself. She couldn't wait for tomorrow to be here. Tomorrow was the day she was going to get her girl back.


	4. Chapter 4

Santana woke up a few minutes before her alarm. She was too excited to sleep in. She jumped out of her bed and began getting ready. She slipped into the outfit she had chosen the night before and started doing her hair. She looked up at the mirror. She had a vindictive smile on her face. Oh yes, she was ready to start the day's festivities.

When she got to school, she immediately started looking for Sam. As she rounded the first corner to the hallway, she spotted Brittany. Santana jumped back behind the wall to make sure Brittany couldn't spot her. No way was she going to be seen alone today. If Britt was ever going to see her, it would be while she was sucking face with Sam. Santana peeked into the hall again. Brittany was walking the other way. Santana walked into the hall now that the coast was clear and continued her search for Sam.

Santana walked down the hall just a few feet before spotting him. Bingo, she thought. She picked up her pace and walked briskly up behind him.

"Hey there Sammy" she whispered sensually in his ear.

Sam turned around, slightly stunned that Santana had been so forward with him. Lately they hadn't really even acknowledged that the other existed, especially after the Trouty Mouth incident.

"Oh, hey Santana" he said.

He could barely get out the words before Santana met his lips with hers. Sam was taken aback by the kiss, but that didn't stop him from enjoying it.

"Whoa, what's gotten into you?" He said, pulling away from the kiss.

"Nothing," Santana replied. "I've just missed you."

Santana reached for the back of his head and pulled him into another kiss. Sam leaned into it willingly. They broke apart for air briefly and Santana caught a glimpse of Brittany out of the corner of her eye. Perfect, she thought, she's coming this way. It was time for Santana to break out her A-game. Santana forcefully pushed Sam into his locker and deepened the kiss. Sam opened his eyes in confusion; he didn't understand what was going on.

Brittany walked up to them. Sam broke the kiss in order to acknowledge Brittany's presence.

"Hey Brittany" said Sam, trying to keep Santana off of him long enough to speak.

Brittany looked at Sam, then at Santana who had moved her kissing down to Sam's neck.

"Hi Sam," she paused. "Hey Santana."

Santana continued kissing Sam's neck for a couple more seconds. She then looked up at Brittany and feigned surprise.

"Oh, hey Britt, I didn't see you there."

Santana continued moving her hands up and down Sam's torso. Santana tried looking as lustful as she could. Brittany looked as if she were trying to think of something to say. Sam looked as if he couldn't decide if he liked this new side to Santana or not.

"So, how was your guys' weekend?" asked Brittany softly.

Santana used this opportunity to show how much she "loved" Sam.

"It was awful," she said in a slightly whiney voice. "I hated going two days without my Sam."

Sam looked confused. "Um, you never even texted me" he said.

Santana already had a response prepared. "I knew it would be too painful to talk to you if I knew I couldn't see you."

Sam smiled slightly, still utterly confused. Brittany looked down at the ground. The bell rang. Santana kissed Sam deeply.

"I'll miss you" she told him. She then turned to Brittany, "bye Britt."

She flashed her best bitch-smile and began walking slowly to class. She could feel the eyes of both blondes watching her as she walked away. Sam looked at Brittany.

"See ya in Glee Club" he said and turned away.

Soon, Brittany was the only one in the hall. She was still looking in the direction of Santana. She was clearly upset, but she could not for the life of her figure out why. She sighed loudly and began walking towards class.

Santana was smiling as she sat in her first class. She was proud of herself. Phase one of her plan to woo Brittany had started. Santana reached into her purse to get out her chapstick. She was going to need it with all the macking she was planning on doing with Sam before the end of the day. She put the chapstick on and smacked her lips together before looking in her pocket mirror. She smiled at herself. This day was already starting off well.

By the time lunch came around, Santana had already made out with Sam five more times in front of Brittany. Santana could tell it was getting to her.

Santana walked over to the lunch line and grabbed a tray. As she was getting food, she spotted Artie sitting alone. Here we go, she thought. She picked up her tray and walked over to his table.

"Hey there wheels" she said vindictively.

Artie looked completely flustered as Santana set her tray down and took a seat next to him.

"Um, hi?" he replied.

Santana began eating her salad quietly. She wanted him to speak first. It put her in a position of power.

"Um, not to be rude or anything, but why are you sitting here? Shouldn't you be over with Puck and Quinn? I mean, you've never really talked to me before" he said nervously.

Santana swallowed her food and feigned offense. "What? We've talked loads of times. Like that time I called you blue tooth in Glee. Wasn't that fun?"

Artie looked at her in bewilderment.

Santana put her hand on his shoulder. "Look Artie, I just wanted to get to know you better. Is that so wrong?"

Artie was still puzzled. "I...guess not."

"Good," she replied perkily. "So, how's everything going with Brittany?"

"She's your best friend, doesn't she tell you that kind of stuff?" he asked.

"Well, sometimes. I mean, only with her _serious_ boyfriends." She replied without missing a beat.

Artie looked down, clearly upset. "Oh" he responded softly.

"I just wanted to make sure that you guys were still doing well. I know she tends to get bored with relationships and move on." She paused to make sure he was listening. "But I'm sure you guys will make it. You're so...cute together."

Artie looked up at Santana. He remained silent. Santana began grabbing her things.

"Anyway, it was nice having lunch with you. Bye Wheels." Said Santana as she walked away.

As she left the cafeteria, she looked back to the table where Artie was sitting. He had his head down slightly and was clearly bothered.

"Perfect" she whispered to herself.


	5. Chapter 5

"Artie, wait up!"

Brittany was jogging down the hall trying to catch up with her boyfriend. Artie continued wheeling himself down the hallway.

"Artie?"

Brittany began running faster. She could have sworn he'd heard her, she was yelling loud enough. After a few more steps she caught up with him and ran around to the front of his wheelchair, ensuring that he couldn't go any further.

"Artie, what's wrong? Didn't you hear me?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, I heard you" Artie replied without looking at Brittany. "I just didn't feel like talking."

"Oh, that's okay, we don't have to talk." Brittany walked to the back of his chair and began pushing him forward. "We can just walk together."

Brittany smiled as she pushed him down the hallway. Artie looked slightly uncomfortable. What Santana had said earlier had really upset him. What if Brittany was getting bored with him? He had never really worried about that before. Yes, he had thought about the fact that Brittany has slept with like...everyone. But he just never thought about it long enough to let it bother him. But now it was all he could think about. He knew he needed to talk to Brittany about it. He grabbed his breaks and pulled them gently.

"Um, do you think we could talk for a bit?" he asked softly.

"I thought you said you didn't feel like talking?" asked Brittany.

"I know. But I really need to talk to you about something" replied Artie.

Brittany could hear the sincerity in his voice. She unlocked his brakes and wheeled him into the choir room. She shut the door behind them and sat in one of the chairs so that they could be eye to eye.

"Did I do something bad?" asked Brittany.

Her voice was so sincere. Artie felt bad for making her think she had done something wrong. But he knew he needed to talk to her about this. Otherwise he'd worry too much about their relationship.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. I just...needed to ask you something."

He looked away from her eyes. Brittany tried to follow his eyes with her. She was starting to fear that something bad was about to happen.

"W-what is it?" she asked nervously.

"Do you love me?" Artie had to wait until after he finished the question to look into Brittany's eyes.

Brittany waited a few seconds before answering. She was kind of surprised; she thought for sure that there would be more to the question.

"Yes, of course I love you." She smiled as she answered.

Artie smiled back slightly and then turned away again. Even though it was the answer he had wanted to hear, it didn't provide comfort. Brittany could tell he was still bothered by something.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Artie took a moment before answering. He was searching for the right words to say.

"Brittany, you've been with a lot of guys. I know that. But how do I know you're not going to get bored with me and just toss me aside?" his voice started off deep and softened by the end of his question. Brittany looked confused.

"Well Artie, I don't think I could toss you. You're too heavy." She pictured herself picking Artie up from his wheelchair and throwing him. It just didn't seem logical to her.

Artie put his head down in slight frustration.

"What I mean is, you get bored with guys and dump them. How do I know you're not going to break up with me when you get bored?"

Now Brittany understood the question. But she didn't understand why Artie was worried about it. She kneeled down in front of him.

"Artie, I'm with you. I love you. You don't have to worry about me getting bored. I promise." Brittany leaned up and kissed him. "Why would you even think that?"

Artie felt foolish for accusing his sweet Brittany of anything.

"Oh it's stupid. Just something Santana said. I don't know why I let it get to me." Artie wheeled himself around so that he was facing the door. "Anyway, need a ride to class?"

Brittany stood up, dumbfounded.

"Um, no thanks. I'll see you in Glee later."

Artie rolled out of the room. Brittany was still standing in the center of the choir room all alone. Why would Santana say something to Artie? The more she stood there, the more confused she became. Was Santana trying to sabotage her and Artie's relationship? She couldn't be. She wouldn't. Brittany refused to think that her best friend would do something like that. She decided that she would find Santana after school and talk to her about it. It was probably just a misunderstanding, right?

Right?


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who has read this so far. I appreciate all reviews and criticisms so keep sending them. I hope to update every two or three days. But be patient with me if I'm unable to. Keep reading and I hope you enjoy!**

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><p>Dear God does he ever stop talking?<p>

Santana was leaning against her locker after school. Sam was next to her, blabbing about football, or Avatar, or Matthew McConaughey or some shit. Santana was having trouble even pretending that she was interested in what he was saying. They had only been standing there a few moments yet he was so invested in the conversation. He didn't even really notice that Santana wasn't paying any attention.

Santana let her mind wander.

She was so proud of the events that had taken place earlier that day. Everything had gone according to plan. She could tell that all of the making out with Sam had upset Brittany. And she could definitely tell that Artie was bothered by their conversation at lunch. And she knew any minute now, Brittany would walk over to Santana to tell her that she had made a mistake by choosing Artie. She allowed a slight smile to grace her face.

She couldn't help but picture how the next couple days would go. First, Artie would talk to Brittany about their relationship. All of his insecurities would start to show. Brittany would be turned off by his complete lack of confidence and start avoiding him. This would eventually lead to him breaking up with her. And of course, once this happened, Brittany would come running to her best friend. Santana would console her and remind her what a great friend she really is. Brittany would realize what a mistake she had made and beg for Santana's forgiveness. Santana, not wanting to seem desperate, would be reluctant at first. Then after a while, she'd give in and they'd be official. It was all so clear in Santana's head, it almost seemed like it had already happened.

"Don't you think?" asked Sam.

Crap. Santana had completely spaced out. Same stood in front of her, patiently waiting for her answer.

"Um, yeah, totally" she replied, hoping she'd said the right answer.

Sam smiled and resumed talking. Santana went back to pretending she was listening to him. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Brittany. Santana could see the perfect wavy blonde hair coming towards her. Okay, here we go, thought Santana.

"Shut up for a minute" said Santana forcefully. "You can't keep talking and expect me not to be all up on them Joker lips."

Santana grabbed the back of Sam's neck and pulled him towards her. She immediately pressed their lips together. Sam tried for a moment to pull back before giving into Santana's willpower. Santana pulled him towards her as she stood, sandwiched between him and her locker. She deepened the kiss as Sam put his hands on her waist. Santana opened her eyes and strained to look down the hall.

Brittany had paused as she saw Santana and Sam. A quick pang of jealousy came over her. Santana watched as Brittany resumed walking towards her. She closed her eyes and resumed her work with Sam.

Brittany walked right up to them and cleared her throat. Santana broke their kiss gently and looked up at Brittany slowly. She brought her right hand up to her mouth and used her thumb to slowly and sensually wipe around her lips.

"Hey Brit Brit" she said chirpily as she reached into her pocket for her lip gloss.

Brittany shifted her weight from her left foot to her right foot and stared at the ground. Santana put on her lip gloss and smacked her lips together loudly. Brittany looked up at her slowly.

"Um, can we talk for a second?" she asked softly, almost inaudibly.

Santana turned to face Sam who was practically drooling after this last make out session.

"Can you leave us alone for a minute..." Santana said forcefully. She paused for a second, remembering that she was supposed to make Brittany think that she loved him. "...Sammy?" she added for sweetness.

"Sure" he replied. He began walking out to the parking lot, unsure of how he felt about all the hot and cold Santana was putting him through. But then again, Santana had always been pretty hot and cold. So he continued walking without giving it much more thought.

Santana watched Sam walk down the hallway until her turned the corner. She then shifted her focus back to Brittany. She took a moment to study her face. As perfect as Santana found her to be, in this moment, there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. Santana tilted her head slightly, trying to understand what Brittany was feeling without having to hear the words. She could tell that Brittany had something on her mind. Something that was clearly bothering her. Santana was ready. She knew that in just a few moments, Brittany would open up to her about why they should be together. She prepared herself.

But she was wrong.

"Did you say something to Artie?" asked Brittany.

Santana was surprised by the question. It almost seemed accusatory.

"Um, well we talked a bit at lunch. But we didn't really _say_ anything. Why?" she replied.

"Artie seemed upset earlier. I think he was worried that I was going to break up with him. He said that something you said made him think that I didn't want him anymore." Brittany paused. "What did you say?"

Wait a minute. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Santana was baffled. Brittany wasn't professing her love to Santana. She was upset because her boyfriend was upset. This didn't make any sense. This wasn't the way Santana planned it at all. She began to panic. She hadn't prepared for the possibility of her plan failing. She blurted out the first thing she could think of.

"I just told him you were getting bored with him."

She regretted the words as soon as she said them. Brittany's eyes widened.

"Why would you say that?"

Brittany's tone had changed. Her voice was raised. She felt simultaneously hurt and angry. Santana's heart began to race.

"Because" she replied loudly, "you said you would be with me if you two broke up. And since I know you couldn't break up with him, I thought I'd help you by making him break up with you."

Santana could feel tears forming in her eyes. Brittany's mouth hung slightly opened in surprise. She couldn't understand how her best friend could do this to her.

"But you knew I loved him too. I told you that." Brittany was having difficulty putting her feelings into words. "If Artie broke up with me, I would be so hurt."

Brittany's eyes began to water. Santana stood helpless.

"You hurt me, Santana."

Brittany's words sent a shock to Santana's heart. Brittany paused for a moment to collect her thoughts.

"I know that you're having trouble dealing with your feelings, I get that. But you and I can't be together if you're going to do it by destroying what Artie and I have. This is one thing you can't get by tearing other people down. I think it's timer you learned that." Brittany wiped away a tear that had fallen on her left cheek. She turned away from Santana and began walking down the hallway.

Santana clutched her books to her chest as she watched Brittany walk away. For the first time since they had known each other, she could not think of words to say to her best friend. As Brittany turned the corner, Santana closed her eyes. Tears began to flow freely down her face. Never in her life had she hurt Brittany.

"Britt...wait" Santana whispered.

She leaned against her locker and allowed herself to slide down until she was sitting on the floor.

Now what? She thought. She was back at square one. Without Brittany. And without a plan.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. Please keep them coming. I'm open to any and all suggestions/criticisms. As for the story, This is the chapter where things really start to change and get juicy. You'll get your Brittana fix, just be patient. As Always, I hope you enjoy. And KEEP REVIEWING! Thanks!**

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><p>How did this happen? The plan was fool-proof.<p>

Santana sat in her car motionless. She hadn't even bothered to turn the car off when she pulled into her driveway. She leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes. She sat in silence for several minutes. She let her mind wander. She couldn't think about Brittany. She couldn't think about the hurt she saw in Britt's eyes as she walked away. It was too painful. She tried thinking about movies or music or what reality shows would be on when she went inside. Anything but Brittany.

A car honked on the street a few feet from Santana's house causing her to jolt from her day dreaming. Santana grabbed her keys from the ignition and opened her door. She got out of the car in such a haze that she didn't bother grabbing her books or her purse. She shut the door gently and began walking up to the house. Her arms hung limp at her sides. She opened the front door and walked slowly upstairs to her bedroom. As soon as she entered her room, she dropped her keys on the floor. She didn't bother shutting the door; her parents wouldn't be home for at least three more hours. Santana walked over to her bed and sat down. She was sitting straight up, feet on the floor, hands folded gently in her lap. Her face was tired. Her eyes were open but just barely. She looked as though she'd just run a marathon. She tried to think about something. Anything. But everything brought her back to Brittany. Back to the way Brittany looked at her. Santana couldn't hold it in any longer. She let her head drop and let tears fill her eyes.

Never in their friendship had Brittany ever looked at Santana like that. Santana had always been the one to protect Brittany from getting hurt. Since the first day of their friendship, she assumed the role of protector. Santana loved this role. She loved being the one person who would always be there no matter what. The one person who would keep others from making Brittany feel hurt.

But today, Brittany was betrayed. And instead of Santana being the protector, she was the one who did the hurting. Santana couldn't bear this thought. How could she do this? All she wanted to do was be with Brittany. But instead she was pushing her further away.

Santana laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She used the palms of her hands to wipe away the tears that were now flowing freely. About one week ago, Santana was in this same spot, doing this same thing. Brittany had just rejected her after Santana had bared her soul. But this...this was something different. This time, Santana had done the hurting.

Santana had never had high confidence (no one who's ever gotten a boob job ever does). But she also never had real low confidence either. But in this moment, she hated herself. How could she have hurt the one person she cared about most in this world?

At this point, Santana began to sob. Nothing was going right. Not only did her plan fail, but she had lost Brittany's trust in the process. Santana began panting. The feelings of hurt and self hatred overcame her and she felt like she was falling. The guilt of what she'd done felt like it was crushing her lungs. It made her sick to her stomach.

Santana got up and ran to her bathroom. She opened the toilet and began heaving. Nothing came out. She sat there, coughing into her toilet for a couple of minutes before eventually rolling over so that she was sitting next to it. She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head down on top of them. She began breathing easier and the sobbing began to slow down. Santana took three deep breaths as she felt her heart rate go back down to a normal level.

Santana allowed herself to think about Brittany and today's events, but told herself that she could only do that if she remained calm.

What went wrong?

She thought back to her conversation with Brittany. Why was Brittany so hurt? Santana tried to wrap her mind around it. So what if she talked to Artie? So what if she had insinuated that Brittany was bored with their relationship? Why would that make Brittany so mad at her?

That's when it hit her. In this master plan of getting Brittany to be with her, Santana forgot to factor one thing in. Brittany's feelings. Santana knew that Brittany would be with her if it weren't for Artie. So in Santana's mind, that just meant that she had to break them up. But the reason that Brittany is still with Artie is because she actually cares about him. She'd be devastated if he broke up with her. Santana now understood. The fact that she tried to get Artie to break up with Britt was the same as if Santana was intentionally hurting Brittany herself.

Santana stood up slowly. She walked back into her bedroom and shut the door. How had she not thought this all the way through? Without even knowing it, she had betrayed her best friend, who just happened to be the person she loved.

No matter how badly she wanted to be with Brittany, this was one thing that Santana couldn't control with her powers of manipulation.

Santana fell backwards on her bed in frustration. She wasn't used to not getting what she wanted. And now she was torn. In order to be with the one she loved, Brittany and Artie would have to break up. But that would mean Brittany would get hurt. And that was the last thing Santana wanted.

Santana now knew what she had to do. If she had any chance at making Brittany hers, she would have to make a change. A big change. It was time for her to stop manipulating people. Time to stop being such a bitch all the time. Time to start being the nice person that she used to be.

The problem with this was, it had been so long since Santana had been _nice_, she wasn't sure that she still knew how. The whole bitch façade had been a cover for so long, it ended up just taking over. Santana was afraid that didn't know how to not be a bitch anymore.

But she knew she had to try.

Without thinking, Santana leaped of her bed and flung open her door. She ran downstairs at fast as she could, only letting her feet touch every other stair. She ran outside without bothering to lock the door behind her.

She jumped in her car and immediately backed out of her driveway. She began driving the familiar roads to her destination. Santana felt a wave of adrenaline come over her. She knew where she was going, but had no idea what she would say or do when she got there. She laughed slightly. It was exhilarating. Santana rarely operated without a plan. Now she was just winging it.

She pulled up to the little house on the right side of the street. She turned off her car and took a deep breath. She was simultaneously nervous and excited. She got out of the car and walked up to the front door. Without hesitation, she knocked.

"Santana, what are you doing here?"

Brittany stood in the doorway, surprised to see Santana standing in front of her.

"Britt, I'm so sorry about today" replied Santana.

Brittany opened her mouth but Santana stopped her before sound could come out.

"Don't... don't say anything" said Santana quickly. "I messed up. When you told me that the only thing standing in the way of us being together was Artie, I just figured I needed to get him to break up with you. I didn't think about how it would make you feel. And I'm sorry for that."

Brittany's gaze softened as Santana bared her soul in front of her.

"But I get it now. I do. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt. You're the most important thing in my life, B."

Brittany smiled slightly and looked at Santana with nothing but love and affection.

"And if you choose to be with Artie for now, then that's just something I have to live with" Santana's eyes started to tear up a little bit.

Brittany reached out and touched Santana's arm and gave it a gentle, encouraging squeeze.

"But you need to know something," Santana pause while Brittany slowly reeled her arm back in to her side. "I'm going to fight for you."

Brittany smiled at the thought of Santana fighting for her. But she quickly lost that smile when she thought of what Santana considered "fighting." Santana reached for Brittany's hand and then covered it with her other hand.

"But this time, I'm doing it the right way."

Santana smiled as she said it. Brittany looked surprised. Santana had never done anything "the right way" before.

"It's time I stopped caring what other people think and started being here for you. I'm going to _try_ to stop being a bitch." Santana emphasized the word "try". She knew it would be impossible to stop completely.

"I'm doing it for you. I'm doing it so that I know that when you're finally mine, you're with me because it was your choice. Not because I pushed four eyes down a flight of stairs."

Santana stopped talking. She looked away from Brittany for a moment so she could regain her thoughts.

"I love you Britt Britt. And I'm going to do whatever it takes for you to be mine."

Santana leaned in and kissed Brittany tenderly. The kiss lasted only a moment, but Santana knew it was enough. As she broke the kiss, Santana smiled at the blonde in front of her. She then let go of Brittany's hand and walked back to her car. Brittany stood completely motionless in her doorway. She could still feel Santana's lips on hers. She exhaled sharply, realizing that she had forgotten to breathe. Brittany watched as Santana got in her car and left. Brittany stood in the doorway a few more seconds before slowly shutting the door, unsure of what she was feeling.

As Santana pulled into her driveway, she pulled out her phone. She scrolled through her contact list and clicked on Sam Evans. She typed on the keypad quickly before shutting her phone and getting out of her car.

"Hey Sam, we need to talk – Santana"

She knew that in order to make things right, she needed to end things with Sam. She took a deep breath and smiled. For the first time in her life, Santana was going to do things the _right_ way.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes: Thanks everybody for the views/favorites/story alerts/reviews. It always means a lot to a writer to know that their work is appreciated. As always please keep the reviews coming. Let me know what you like/dislike/love or whatever. Please keep reading and as always, I hope you enjoy. Oh and Happy Easter everybody.**

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><p>Santana was leaning against the hood of her car. She felt the cool night breeze against her face. She looked at her phone to check the time.<p>

11:26

It was getting late. Santana groaned and looked around the parking lot. Still no sign of Sam. He should have been here by now, she thought. She got off of her car and walked over to the bench that was next to the "Welcome to Lima Heights Community Park" sign. She used her hand to brush off some dust before sitting down. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned back. She checked her phone again.

11:29

"Okay, come on, Sam. This is getting ridiculous." She said out loud.

She rolled her eyes and let out an "ugh" before leaning against the back of the bench. She had been waiting for Sam for over twenty minutes. All she wanted to do was leave. In fact, yesterday, that's exactly what she would have done. She would have just left and waited for Sam to show up and see that he'd been ditched. But today, she made a vow. Not just to Brittany, but to herself as well. She was going to start being nicer. Or at least stop being such a heinous bitch.

Headlights shone in the darkness. Santana's head perked up as she watched Sam's car pull next to hers. He got out of the car and shut the door gently. He was wearing his letterman jacket over a ratty t-shirt and his hair was tousled. He was probably asleep when Santana told him that they needed to meet tonight rather than talk tomorrow. Sam bent over and looked in the window of Santana's car.

"Over here" shouted Santana.

Sam looked over to the bench. Santana stood up and waved him over. He walked up to her and kissed her gently.

"Everything okay?" he asked. "You sounded urgent on the phone."

Santana looked down at her hands. They were fidgeting. She often did this when she was nervous.

"Yeah, everything's fine." She cleared her throat. "I just really needed to talk."

They both sat down on the bench slowly. Their bodies were turned towards each other. Santana looked up at Sam then immediately turned away. This was going to be more difficult than she thought.

She had broken up with tons of guys before. It was easy for her. Mostly because she had never wanted to be with them in the first place. And Sam was no different. She never wanted to be with him. She just liked messing with Quinn. Not to mention she needed something to keep her mind off of Brittany. Normally, she would just make up some bullshit excuse like a bad credit score or that she was bored. But this was her first step in trying to be a better person. She needed to be delicate. Did she even know how to do that? She looked back up to Sam's eyes. It was time. She needed to just dive right in.

"Okay, so first thing I wanna say is that these past few weeks have been fun" she said nervously.

Or maybe just put her foot in and test the water.

Sam looked at her, confused.

"Okay?" he responded.

"I think that we should break up." Santana sounded so definitive.

Sam sat back a little. If this had happened a couple of days ago, he wouldn't have been surprised. In fact he probably would have been happy with the news. But for two days now, Santana had been jumping his bones every chance she got.

"I don't understand. You've been all over me the last couple days." He replied.

Santana nodded her head. There was no way she could deny that one.

"I know. I'm sorry about that" she paused for a moment. "I wasn't doing that because of you. I was doing it to make someone else jealous."

Sam shook his head.

"Well that's just perfect! You're breaking up with me for another dude. After you practically forced me to break up with Quinn. Thanks Santana. Thanks a lot." Sam scoffed and turned away from Santana.

Santana could feel the anger building inside her.

"You know what? Screw you. I don't owe you anyth..." she stopped herself before going any further. She cleared her throat softly.

"Sorry. I didn't mean that. And I'm sorry for giving you the wrong impression the past couple of days."

Sam turned back towards Santana. He may not have known her for long, but he knew enough to know that Santana Lopez doesn't apologize. Ever.

"Look, I know that I haven't been the best girlfriend or whatever. But there's a reason for that." She continued. "Trust me, you're better off without me."

This was the most heartfelt Sam had ever seen Santana be. She dropped her head low. And for the first time, Sam saw a flicker of pain her eyes. He reached over and used his index finger to lift her chin up so that they were eye to eye.

"Are you okay?" he asked gingerly.

Santana gave a quick forced smile.

"I will be eventually."

As much as Sam wanted to be mad at Santana, he couldn't do it. Something about this conversation made him feel sorry for her. He didn't even know what it was. It was as if there were some pain that she was hiding. And not just hiding from him, but from the world. He chuckled softly.

"I guess this little fling had run its course anyway." He said.

Santana felt better. She didn't want to break Sam's heart. He was a nice guy. Even if he did talk about avatar too much and his mouth looked like it could be used to eat a whole watermelon. And since this was her first step towards a nicer Santana, she really didn't want to screw it up.

She looked at him kindly.

"Thank you for understanding, Sam" she said.

She leaned in and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. They both stood up and after a brief moment of awkwardness, they both chuckled and hugged. They quickly broke apart and began walking to their cars. Sam shoved his hands in his letterman jacket pockets while Santana kept her arms folded tightly over her chest.

"So who's the guy?" asked Sam before he could stop the curiosity from taking over.

Santana stopped dead in her tracks. She panicked quietly in her head before taking a breath to calm down.

"I'd rather not say" she replied. "Look, some stuff is gonna come out in the next few days. I just need you to wait. It'll make sense soon. But for now, please don't ask me that again."

Sam wanted to push the matter further but figured he better not mess with Santana tonight. There was probably only so much niceness she could dish out in one day.

"Okay" he said calmly. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye Sam," replied Santana. "And thank you. I mean it."

That was the most sincere Sam had ever heard Santana be. He nodded before getting in his car and pulling out of the parking lot.

Santana took a moment to breathe in the night air. She was proud of herself. She had never really ever been honest with a boy before. It was exhilarating. She got in her car and began to back out. As she was driving, she started thinking about what was next. Yes, Brittany would be impressed that Santana had broken up with Sam. But that alone wouldn't be enough. She still had a long way to go. She knew she'd need help.

As she pulled into her driveway, Santana reached for her phone. She began dialing a familiar number. One that she hadn't called in a while. But she knew that this was the one person who would help her. Or at least she hoped so.

The phone began to ring.

Santana was nervous as she waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

Ring.

She waited patiently.

Ring.

"Hello" said the voice on the other end.

"Hey, it's me" replied Santana.

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><p><strong>So I know this one ended on a cliffhanger (but then again I think most of my chapters do). I'll try to update fast. I know how much it sucks to wait for resolutions. Happy reading!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes: Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. Sorry it took so long to update, midterms are a bitch. But for your patience, I give you my longest chapter yet. Enjoy and keep those reviews coming!**

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><p>"Take that son of a bitch!"<p>

Puck was sitting in front of the television in his room. His fingers were moving forcefully over the remote control in his hands. The armor-clad man on the TV screen was mimicking his movements.

"Boom!" yelled Puck as an explosion occurred on the screen.

He was smiling as he continued fighting his way through terrorists and snipers. His eyes were focused as he heard a faint noise coming from somewhere in the room. Puck paused his game and listened closely, trying to detect what the noise was and where it was coming from. It sounded like Jay-Z's 99 Problems. Puck got up from his chair and walked over to where the noise was loudest. He began moving dirty clothes and headphones out of the way, tossing them behind him quickly. He found his phone and answered it without looking at the caller id.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me," replied the voice on the other end.

Puck was silent for a moment. He tried to remember the last time he had spoken to Santana on the phone. It had been several months. And usually when they talked, it was an invitation to a booty call.

"Hello?" asked Santana. "Puck? Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here" he responded quickly. "What's up Lopez?"

Months ago, Puck would have been thrilled that Santana was calling him. It would mean that it was time for a hook up. But now he was with Lauren. And while he still entertained the idea of sleeping with Santana, he knew it wasn't what he wanted.

"Not too much. How are you?" she replied.

She was stalling. She knew she was stalling. Making small talk with Puck still wasn't going to make what she wanted to say any easier.

"I'm alright. You okay?" he responded, confused. "You hardly ever call me unless..."

He didn't need to finish. They both knew what he was gonna say.

"I know." She cut him off. "Look, I'm calling because I need a favor."

Puck rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah? And what's it gonna be this time?" he asked, obviously bothered.

"Look, it's not like that!" Santana snapped back. "I just need someone to talk to, alright?"

Puck's facial expression changed. Was Santana Lopez coming to him as a friend? This wasn't something he was accustomed to.

"Oh, um, sure. I guess?" he wasn't quite sure how else to respond.

"How about lunch tomorrow?" she asked. "We can go off campus if you want?"

"Sure. Sounds cool."

They both lingered on the phone silently for a few seconds.

"You okay Lopez?" he asked tenderly.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." She hung up quickly.

She took a couple of deep breaths. She was already nervous about tomorrow. The only person who knew about her was Brittany. She knew she needed to talk to someone who wasn't the person she was in love with. But that didn't mean it wasn't going to be hard.

She went inside her house quietly and went straight to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a hard day.

Santana parked in front of the school. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the headrest. She didn't know what she was more nervous about, telling Puck that she was a total lez or that today was her first official day of trying to be a nicer person. She took a deep breath then took her keys out of the ignition and got out of the car.

As she was walking up to the school, she spotted Brittany across campus. A smile immediately appeared on her face. She watched as Brittany walked with grace over to the bulletin board. She was wearing shorts that were just a tad too small and Santana couldn't help but moan over the way they would rise a little bit each time she took a step, showing more and more leg. Santana clutched her books to her chest, convinced that she was staring at the world's most perfect person.

Suddenly a sharp shrill voice said Santana's name, breaking her concentration. Santana looked down to find Rachel standing in front of her, glaring at her with squinted eyes.

"Jesus, dwarf, you can't sneak up on people like that!" Santana snapped. "People are gonna think a lawn gnome escaped or something."

Santana started to walk around Rachel, who immediately turned around, prepared to follow. Santana then remembered her new goal. If she wanted to be nicer person, she needed to start being nice to _everyone_. And that included the cringe worthy Rachel Berry. Santana turned around and faced a startled Rachel. She cleared her throat and unsuccessfully tried to put on a happy face, rather than a disgusted one.

"I'm sorry Rachel, I shouldn't have called you a gnome." Santana said.

Rachel took a moment to be surprised at this apology. She had never heard Santana apologize and especially not to her. But that didn't matter right now. What mattered was what she needed to talk to Santana about.

"Apology accepted, Santana." Rachel replied quickly. "Walk with me?"

Santana rolled her eyes and began walking slowly with Rachel.

"It has come to my attention that you and Sam are no longer an item," she talked quickly while staring straight ahead. "And rumor has it that you dumped him because you have your eye on someone else."

Santana fought the urge to trip the short girl to her left. Rachel then stepped in front of her, preventing her from walking forward.

"I don't know which guy you have your eye on but seeing as how each guy in glee club is spoken for, I do hope that you are not planning on making any of them your next target." Rachel paused for just a moment. "I know you aren't much of a team player, but since New Directions is going to nationals this year, it is my duty to make sure that each one of us has what's best for the team as our number one priority."

"Listen dwar..." Santana caught a glimpse of Brittany out of the corner of her eye. She had been watching the conversation take place.

Santana sighed and rolled her eyes once more.

"_Rachel_," she put emphasis on the shorter girl's name. "You don't have to worry. I don't plan on stealing anyone's man. Sam and I broke up because it wasn't working, alright?"

Rachel smiled.

"Good. That's nice to hear."

And with that, Rachel turned and continued walking down the hallway. Santana glared at her back as she got further away. Santana then turned back to where she had seen Brittany standing only moments earlier, but there was no one there.

This whole being nice thing was going to be far more difficult than Santana anticipated.

The lunch bell rang at 11:30. Santana had texted Puck to meet her in the choir room. When she walked in, Puck was already sitting at the piano, touching random keys and letting them ring out before pressing another one.

"Hey Puckerman." Santana said nervously.

"Sup Lopez" replied Puck, still unsure why he was there.

Santana walked over to the row of chairs and took a seat. She patted the seat next to her and Puck walked over and sat. They sat in silence for a few awkward seconds before Santana broke it.

"Thanks for coming." She stated softly. "I really didn't have anyone else to talk to."

"Are you okay?" Puck asked genuinely.

"Yeah," replied Santana, then chuckled slightly "and no."

A look of horror crossed Puck's face.

"Oh my God, are you pregnant?" he asked panicked.

He then stood up quickly, knocking over his chair.

"Holy shit is it mine?"

Santana looked at Puck in disbelief.

"Dude, it's been like year since we've done it." She replied. "How the hell would I be knocked up with _your_ kid?"

Puck took a moment to let her words sink in. He still looked scared. Santana picked up the chair then grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the chair.

"I'm not pregnant." She said with reassurance.

"Okay, so why'd you wanna talk to me?" asked Puck.

"Look, I'm going through something." She turned away from him. "And I don't really have anyone to talk to about it."

"What about Brittany? Aren't you guys like best friends or whatever?" he replied.

"Yeah, she's kind of the problem."

Santana looked down at her hands.

"I'm kind of in love with her" she winced as she said the words.

Puck looked confused at first, and then broke into laughter.

"Lopez, you're a carpet muncher?" he laughed some more.

Santana stood up fuming.

"You know what? Fuck you Puck!"

She started storming out but Puck grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said while still holding her hand. "I just wasn't expecting that."

Santana turned her head. She suddenly felt ashamed.

"Look, I'm down with it. I dig lesbians" he said trying to cheer her up.

Santana scoffed at him and rolled her eyes.

"It does make sense though." He said thoughtfully.

Santana looked up at him with one eyebrow raised.

"It does?"

"Totally." He replied. "I mean, every time we had sex you'd always space out. It was like you were pretending to be somewhere else, you know? I never cared cuz at least we were having sex. But you never seemed all that into it."

Santana thought back to the times when she would be picturing Britt while she was with a guy.

"And then of course there was the fact that you'd talk about her all the time. It got pretty annoying."

Santana allowed herself to smile slightly.

"And it was obvious you two were banging." He said with a smile. "So yeah, I guess it makes sense."

Santana looked up at Puck. He wasn't disgusted. He didn't tell her that she was a dyke. He was actually nice about it. She almost wanted to cry.

"Thanks Puck." She said. "I just needed to tell somebody. The only person who knows is Brittany and she turned me down."

She fought tears and Puck looked at her with surprise.

"She turned you down?" he asked. "That's rough. I'm sorry Lopez. So what are you gonna do?"

Santana turned away to wipe a tear from her cheek.

"I'm gonna try to get her back."

"Good." He replied quickly. "You two are good together. I mean, I love my boy Artie, but you and her have kinda always been together."

Santana smiled and leaned into Puck who put his arm around her.

"Plus, it'd be hot." He said with a smile.

Santana turned and punched him in the arm.

"Thanks for listening Puck." She said. "But I need you to not tell anybody about this okay? I'm not ready to be _out _yet."

"Your secret's safe with me kid."

They both stood up and hugged. Puck left the room leaving Santana alone. She had just told someone that she was in love with her best friend. She was insanely happy that she had done it, but she also felt as if she were about to hurl.

She looked around the choir room slowly. She knew that being nice and getting the courage to come out wouldn't be enough to win Britt's love. She'd have to do more.

Santana slowly left the room, letting the door close slowly as she exited.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes: Hey guys, sorry for the wait. My computer deleted half of what I had originally written. Technology and I do not mix. Anyway, we get a lot more interaction between Brittany and Santana in this chapter. Hope you enjoy. Thanks so much for all the reviews. They are appreciated more than you know. So keep them coming. Thanks!**

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><p>Santana sat quietly in glee club. Today's lesson was about expressing your feelings or something along those lines. But now that Santana thought about it, that's pretty much what <em>every<em> lesson in glee club was about. Today Rachel was singing a song about losing love. Of course she was looking longingly at Finn while Quinn looked angrily at both of them. Santana decided to close her eyes and just feel the music. She did this often in glee. She loved to let the music just take her away, even if it was Rachel singing.

After the song finished Santana looked over at Brittany. She was sitting next to Artie like always. Santana looked up at Rachel and was the first person to start clapping. Rachel looked at Santana as if she had no idea who she was. After the clapping died down Santana cleared her throat.

"I thought that was really good, Rachel" she said politely.

Every single person turned to look at Santana, completely astonished. Rachel's mouth hung open in surprise. Quinn was the first to break the silence.

"Um, what did you just say?" asked Quinn skeptically.

Santana rolled her eyes and crossed her legs.

"I said I thought man-hands did a good job. What? I'm not allowed to compliment anyone?" she replied with attitude.

"No, it's just you never do." Quipped Finn while utterly confused.

Mr. Schuester stood up and clapped his hands for Rachel. He wanted to end this before Santana's claws came out.

"Well, great job Rachel" he smiled. "Okay everybody, that's it for today, go home and work on your songs. Tomorrow we'll really start preparing for nationals."

Everyone grabbed their bags and folders and started moseying out of the choir room. Santana stalled for a moment as she watched Brittany push Artie towards the door. She sighed deeply then stood up. She turned and set her purse on the chair and began rifling through it trying to locate her gum.

Brittany turned around and saw that Santana was the last person in the choir room. She leaned in next to Artie's ear.

"I have to do something, I'll text you later?" she whispered.

He smiled and nodded. Brittany kissed him lightly on the cheek and he left the room. Brittany turned and walked towards Santana. She stopped before making her presence known. She enjoyed watching Santana. Especially when she was unaware that she was being watched. It was like seeing a rare animal in its natural environment.

Santana continued going through her bag. As her hand found the pack of gum Santana accidentally tipped the bag over onto the floor; spilling the contents across the choir room.

"Perfect. No really, that's friggin perfect" said Santana frustrated.

She then got down on her hands and knees and began picking up makeup, stray coins, and old receipts, among other things. Brittany went over in front of Santana and began helping pick up the contents of the purse. Santana looked up and was startled to see Brittany in front of her. They looked at each other and locked eyes.

"Hi" said Santana quietly.

"Hey" replied Brittany softly.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Each one taking the other one in. Santana's eyes darted back and forth quickly between Brittany's eyes as if she were searching for emotion. She felt as if she could spend all day getting lost in those blue eyes. Brittany smiled at the girl in front of her.

Santana thought of just moments earlier when Brittany was pushing Artie. She withdrew her gaze and continued picking up her things. Brittany's smile quickly faded and they finished gathering the objects in silence.

They both stood up together as Brittany put the last stick of gum back into Santana's purse. Santana feigned a smile at Brittany and then looked at the ground awkwardly. It didn't happen often that she was at a loss for words, but this was one of those moments.

"So I heard you broke up with Sam." Said Brittany suddenly.

Santana was surprised that Brittany was so blunt. She looked up into her eyes.

"Yeah. I didn't want to string him along anymore. It wasn't fair." She replied, slightly proud of herself.

Brittany smiled at her.

"I'm proud of you San," she said. "I know these past couple of weeks haven't been easy for you."

Brittany reached out and touched Santana's arm. And for the first time since she told Brittany that she loved her, Santana didn't back away from her touch. In fact she welcomed it. While it hurt to be rejected by the person she loved, the hardest part about this ordeal was losing her best friend. Santana didn't make it a habit of letting people in. Brittany has been the only person in her life able to break through her hard shell. And not having her best friend to talk to had really taken its toll on Santana.

Santana looked up at Brittany and cleared her throat.

"You want to come over?" she asked. "There's a John Hughes marathon on tonight. Maybe we could order pizza and veg out?"

"Sounds great" replied Brittany with great enthusiasm.

They both turned and started walking out of the room, each of them wearing a smile on their face.

Santana instinctively brought her hand down and stuck her pinky out. She stopped herself before grabbing Brittany's pinky. She winced and tensed her hand while balling it into a fist. She hadn't expected her instincts to take over so quickly. She could no longer just be herself around Brittany. She would have to have some sense of control over herself. Certain aspects of their friendship would have to change.

The drive to Santana's house was innocent. There was no talking about feelings or love interests. They just talked freely. Mostly about Rachel's horrid choice in clothing. Santana turned up the radio at one point while Brittany danced in her seat. Neither of them could help but smile. They both felt so safe with one another. They both knew that they were at their happiest when they were together. With the music blaring and Brittany dancing next to her, Santana allowed herself to forget her feelings and all the complications that came along with them. She just let herself be happy.

After walking into Santana's house, Brittany sat down on the couch while Santana went into the kitchen. She came back out a moment later with a half eaten pack of Oreos and two glasses of milk. This had been their routine since they were kids. She set the cookies and milk down on the table in front of them and reached for the remote. Santana pointed it at the TV and turned on the John Hughes marathon. It was in the middle of Pretty in Pink.

"Yes, I love this movie" exclaimed Brittany excitedly.

Santana smiled at her.

"Only because there's someone in it named Duckie" she replied.

"Well duh. Ducks are awesome."

They finished their cookies and leaned back on the couch. Brittany instinctively put her legs up on Santana's lap, just as she'd done a million times before. Santana looked down at the smooth white legs on her lap. In the past, Santana would have been delighted to have those legs on her. She would have stroked them gently while they watched TV. But today they felt heavy and awkward. Santana looked at those legs as if they were foreign. She suddenly didn't know what to do with them. All she wanted was to pull Brittany closer and hold her. She wanted to stroke her legs like they were hers.

But they weren't hers. Brittany wasn't hers.

Santana adjusted herself, turning away from Brittany slightly. Brittany noticed.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Replied Santana unconvincingly.

She shifted awkwardly again. Brittany took her legs off of Santana's lap. She then scooted closer to her and positioned herself so that her head was leaning on Santana's shoulder. Santana looked away. She hated this. Why couldn't she just enjoy her time with Brittany? She didn't understand why this was so hard. Every touch actually hurt. Every touch was a painful reminder that Brittany was with Artie. Santana was overwhelmed and stood up quickly.

Brittany's head shot up. She was confused.

"What are you doing?" she asked the girl in front of her.

Santana looked around the room, trying to come up with an excuse that wasn't "I'm so in love with you that it's painful for you to touch me." She reached for the empty glasses in front of her.

"I'm gonna go wash these." She replied and quickly ran out of the room.

Brittany sat on the couch, confused. She didn't understand why Santana was acting so weird. The ride home had been so pleasant, why did things change when they got to Santana's house? Then Brittany had an idea for what might calm Santana down.

Santana sat the glasses on the sink. She gripped the counter and put her head down. This ended up being much harder than she thought it would be. She took a deep breath and walked slowly back into the living room.

Brittany was standing next to the couch with a seductive smile on her face. Santana stopped walking when she saw her.

"What are you doing?" asked Santana, confused.

Brittany walked forward and grabbed Santana's hands. She pulled them towards her and wrapped them around her own waist.

"This" she whispered into Santana's ear.

Brittany brought her hands up to Santana's neck and held either side gently in her hands. She looked into the darker girl's eyes before shutting her own. She leaned in and kissed Santana.

Santana kept her eyes open. Her hands did not move from where Brittany had placed them. She stood frozen for what seemed like a lifetime.

Brittany broke the kiss just long enough to look at the girl in front of her. As they locked eyes, Santana nodded, urging Brittany to go on.

The second kiss was deep, passionate. The moment their lips touched Santana felt it everywhere. She tightened her grip around Brittany's waist, pulling her closer. Brittany reached behind Santana's head and gently gripped her hair. Santana moaned softly into Brittany's mouth, not wanting to end the kiss. Not even to come up for air.

Brittany pulled away and backed up towards the couch, brining Santana with her. She pushed Santana softly so that she fell backwards onto the couch. Santana turned herself so that she her whole body was laying on the couch. She propped herself up on her elbows as Brittany straddled her. Brittany leaned in again and took Santana's lips in hers. She then moved her lips down to Santana's neck and began kissing her jaw line and below, nipping occasionally.

Santana closed her eyes. She wanted to enjoy this moment. She wanted to lose herself in Brittany's touch as she had done so many times before. But this time was different.

"Of course I love you. I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie."

Those words repeated themselves in Santana's head. She couldn't stop them. They just kept repeating over and over. She closed her eyes tighter, trying to keep tears from coming out. How could she have picked him?

Brittany continued kissing Santana's neck. She felt a drop of water on her lips. She looked up and saw a couple of tears running down Santana's cheeks. She sat up quickly.

"San, what is it?" she asked, panicked.

Santana opened her eyes and swiftly sat up. She pulled her legs out from under Brittany.

"I can't do this Britt," she said through tears. "I just can't."

They both stood up hurriedly.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you" Brittany couldn't understand what had made Santana freak out.

"No you didn't hurt me I...I just need to take you home now."

Brittany grabbed her things as Santana frantically looked for her keys. She sat on the couch quietly watching Santana lift up pillows and chairs. She couldn't understand what had gone wrong. After Santana found her keys they walked silently to the car.

The car ride home was quiet and awkward. Santana looked straight ahead, never once turning to look at Brittany. Brittany however never took her eyes off of Santana. She searched her face, looking for any ounce of explanation of what had just happened.

When Santana pulled up in front of Brittany's house, she turned the car off and looked down.

"I'm sorry Britt. I know that confused you." She said without looking up.

"What happened? I thought we were having fun?" replied Brittany.

"Things have changed Britt. We can't just keep doing the same stuff we used to." Santana tried to explain.

"Well why not?"

"Because," Santana paused. "Because it hurts too much."

Brittany tilted her head. She still didn't understand.

"How? Why does it hurt?"

"Because you picked Artie!" Snapped Santana.

Brittany leaned back. She wasn't used to Santana snapping at her.

"I can't keep making out with you or cuddling with you knowing that you're just gonna go off and do the same thing with wheelchair boy."

"But we've always done that. Even when I was with Artie." Replied Brittany.

"I know. But I told you I loved you and you picked him. I want _you_, Britt. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything before. And I don't want to share you. Maybe that's selfish, I don't know. But I love you and I want to be with you. And I want you to want to be with me. _Only_ me." Santana began to tear up.

Brittany's breathing deepened. She wanted so badly to hug Santana. To tell her that everything would be okay. But instead she sat there, her hands folded in her lap. She didn't know what to do. She had never been the problem before. She'd never been the person to make Santana cry.

They sat there for several minutes in silence. Santana wiped away her tears and took Brittany's hand in hers.

"I know this is hard for you." She said softly to the blonde. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't think about everyone's feelings. Including _Artie's_."

"I don't want to hurt you, San. That's the last thing I'd ever want to do." Said Brittany through tears.

"I know. But when it comes down to it, you're going to have to make a choice. Me or him."

Brittany looked at the floor.

"I won't make you choose right now, that's not fair to you." Continued Santana. "But soon you have to make a decision."

Brittany looked out her window. She didn't like being confronted with difficult decisions. Usually Santana would just make the decision for her.

An uncomfortable silence hung over the car. Neither girl wanted to look at the other for fear of breaking down. Finally Santana looked up at Brittany.

"Come here" she said gently.

Brittany leaned in and hugged Santana tightly. Santana did her best not to cry while in Brittany's embrace. They stayed there for a few moments before eventually letting go. Brittany turned to open the door. As she got out of the car she turned back to Santana.

"I do love you San. I really do."

And with that, she shut the door and walked into her house.

Santana tightened her grip on the steering wheel. She choked back a few sobs before turning the engine back on and driving away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I hope you all like the new update and continue with this story. I'm always open to suggestions and criticisms. This chapter is starting to bring up some of the insecurities of figuring out who you are. I hope it resonates with some of you. Now go forth and read! (And review. That too.)**

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><p>"Alright everyone it's 7:03 and you're waking up with Bill and John and The Morning Report! Bill let's throw it over to you for weather and traffic. Well John, Lima is definitely starting to warm up. Time to hang up those scarves and break out the shades. And as for the morning commute, it's getting heavy on the-"<p>

Santana rolled over and slammed her hand against the top of the clock radio next to her; effectively ending the annoying chatter coming out of it.

"Ugh" she exclaimed.

She rolled over and pulled her duvet blanket over her head. She slinked herself down so that her head was no longer against her dark purple pillow. She curled herself into a ball so that every inch of her body was covered by her piles of blankets. Santana often did this on mornings that she _really_ didn't want to get up. She lay in her bed, in that position for several minutes.

The night before had really taken its toll on Santana. She wasn't used to feeling so much at once. Santana had become a master of avoidance. She had trained herself to never show her emotions. In fact, she had been quite successful at training herself to not even _feel _her emotions.

At least not on issues that mattered. This of course meant that she would become over-emotional on nonissues; such as crying at her tanning privileges being revoked or being overly weepy when drunk. But truth be told, she was terrified when it came to the tough issues. She was so afraid of actually letting her feelings take hold that she would push them away entirely.

But yesterday, those repressed emotions flooded her. As much as she wanted to be with Brittany, to feel her skin against her own, it just hurt too much. With each touch of Brittany's skin, Santana felt sadness take over. Feeling Brittany's warm body on top of hers made her skin crawl. When Santana's hands touched Brittany, she felt as if she was touching something foreign. Brittany suddenly felt off limits. Used. And out of nowhere, Santana could no longer push those emotions away. So she pushed Brittany away instead.

Santana felt guilty. She knew that last night was confusing for Brittany. And Santana was normally the one to clarify things for Brittany, not be the cause of her confusion.

She poked her head out of her blankets and looked at the clock. 7:16. She groaned, pushed her blankets to the side and got out of bed. Santana took her time getting ready; it's not like she was in any hurry. She knew the only thing waiting for her at school was Brittany. And she wasn't sure she wanted to face her after what had happened yesterday.

Santana pulled into the parking lot at school. She took a moment to look in her mirror and adjust her lip gloss one last time before getting out. She smacked her lips together making an overly loud popping sound before putting on her sunglasses and getting out of the car.

As soon as she locked her car she saw Brittany standing at the entrance of the school. Brittany was looking around the parking lot, clearly waiting for someone. Santana took a deep breath. This had been their ritual for years. Brittany usually got to school first so she would wait for Santana at the entrance.

Santana walked up slowly.

"Hey Britt" said Santana.

Brittany looked over, surprised that she hadn't spotted Santana sooner.

"Hey" she replied enthusiastically.

They stood in front of one another awkwardly. Santana pulled at the straps that dangled from her backpack while eyeing the ground. Brittany tried to catch Santana's gaze unsuccessfully.

"I'm sorry about last night." Blurted Brittany desperately.

Santana looked up at the blonde in front of her. Brittany was looking deep into Santana's eyes. Santana could see that Brittany was hurting. She could see the utter confusion about the events last night.

Santana walked forward and took Brittany in her arms, hugging her tightly.

"No, no. I'm sorry" said Santana sympathetically.

She legitimately felt bad about what had happened. Brittany hadn't done anything wrong. She had simply done what was normal for them. Santana was the one who had changed. And she hadn't given Brittany any time to adjust.

Santana pulled away from Brittany, still holding her shoulders. Brittany was looking down at her feet. Santana used her index finger to lift Brittany's chin up so that they were looking eye to eye.

"You did nothing wrong last night," said Santana softly. "You hear me?"

"But we were doing fine. We even had cookies and milk. And then when we started kissing, you freaked out. It had to have been me." Brittany looked so devastated.

Santana instinctively looked around when Brittany mentioned the kissing. She grabbed Brittany's left arm gently and pulled her over to a less populated area. She looked around and took a deep breath.

"There's something you need to understand," she started. "All of the making out, the cuddling, and the _sex_ was my way to be with you without ever admitting to myself who I really am. It was amazing being able to be with you without actually being _with_ you."

Santana paused. Brittany clutched her arm, urging her to go on.

"But somehow, I got this strength. This strength that made me tell you how I really felt. I told you that I loved you and then you chose him."

Brittany looked away, her eyes full of sadness.

"And I guess I get it," Continued Santana. "I may not agree with it, but I get it. But now you need to understand something about me. I can't share you, Britt. I'm in love with you and need you to be just mine. And it's okay if you can't do that now. But we can't keep doing what we did before. We can't keep making out and having sleepovers."

Santana felt tears welling up in her eyes. She took a moment to relax. She knew that tears would not help Brittany understand.

"We can be friends. As hard as it'll be to just be friends, it would be impossible to not have you in my life. But the other stuff has to stop. That's why I freaked out last night. It really wasn't you. It's that I'm beginning to accept who I am, and I can't keep fooling around with someone who belongs to someone else."

Brittany tried to muster a smile but her eyes remained sad. She finally understood what was going on. And although her desire to be with Santana was just as strong as Santana's desire to be with her, she just couldn't do it yet. She knew that she needed to give Santana some space. Even if she didn't want to.

"Okay" replied Brittany simply.

Not knowing what else to do, she leaned in and hugged Santana. After they broke apart, she reached forward and cupped Santana's cheek with her palm, stroking softly.

"I'll see you at lunch?" asked Brittany.

Santana nodded her head and sniffled quietly.

"Yeah, see you at lunch."

Brittany turned and walked into the school. Santana lingered for a moment, taking a few deep breaths, trying to lower her heart rate. It seemed like each time she talked with Brittany, she was left more haggard than the last. She closed her eyes tightly for a couple of seconds and mentally prepared herself for the rest of the day.

Santana turned around and spotted two familiar faces not too far in the distance. It was Kurt and his new boy toy. What was his name again? Blake? Brian? Bart? Whatever, it didn't matter. They were both staring directly at her. She had forgotten that they were going to be visiting Glee Club today. Santana looked away quickly.

How long had they been standing there? Santana began to panic. Had they seen anything? She looked back. They were still looking. Kurt waved slowly at Santana, as if he were acknowledging some secret that they now shared. Santana looked away as she rushed inside the school. She immediately darted for the girls bathroom. She ran into a stall and locked it behind her, pressing her back against the frame.

Her breathing was heavy and sharp. She went over the conversation in her head. Had she said anything that would give away her secret if Kurt had heard? She exhaled slowly. Of course she had. The whole interaction with Brittany was a dead giveaway.

Maybe they hadn't seen it. Maybe they had just walked up when she saw them. Santana repeated this in her head long enough for her to calm down.

"They didn't see anything," she whispered to herself one last time before leaving the stall.

Santana opened the bathroom door to find Blaine and Kurt right outside. Except this time, their attention wasn't on Santana. In fact their attention wasn't on anything but the blue slushies that now covered their faces. Kurt wiped the slushie from his eyes while Blaine stood motionless beside him. His mouth hung open in utter shock.

Karofsky and Azimio stood in front of them, their hands clutching empty cups. The hallway was still. Everyone stood and stared at what had just happened.

"You know," began Azimio. "We had planned these for your gay...oh, I'm sorry, _glee_ friends. But when we saw you two walking up we just couldn't resist."

Karofsky was still. His eyes were directed toward the floor. He let Azimio do his talking for him.

"Have a nice day, _Ladies_" laughed Azimio.

The two football players walked away, proud of themselves. Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and Santana watched as they rushed into the men's restroom.

The rest of the crowd soon dissipated. Santana on the other hand, remained motionless just outside of the girl's bathroom. Had she just witnessed her future? Was this really what was in store for her if she ever came out? It was a fate she didn't want to imagine.

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><p>The lunch bell rang, waking Santana from her practically zombie like trance that she'd been in since this morning. As she was walking to the cafeteria, she decided to stop in the choir room. Santana liked going in the choir room when it was empty. She felt safe, as if the entire room existed just for her. She walked over to the piano and sat down. She used her index finger to push lightly on a couple of keys, letting the noise ring throughout the room.<p>

Brittany was headed to find Santana in the cafeteria when she spotted her in the choir room. She hesitated before opening the door, taking a moment to watch Santana play random notes on the piano. Brittany opened the door slowly.

"Santana?"

"Hey Britt" replied Santana without turning around.

"I thought we were gonna eat lunch together?" asked Brittany calmly, not wanting to upset the peace that seemed to surround Santana.

"Oh shit," Santana said, turning around. "I forgot. Sorry Britt. I'm a little out of it today."

Brittany walked over to the piano and sat next to Santana. She pushed down on the last key on the piano. A loud, sharp, high pitched sound came out of the instrument. Brittany waited until the sound finished reverberating throughout the room before she spoke.

"That's okay. We can spend lunch in here today." She said with a smile.

Santana returned a slightly pained smile and looked back down at the keys in front of her. Brittany used her shoulder to nudge Santana playfully.

"You know, I've been thinking," began Brittany. "I know you're having a hard time with everything that's been going on lately. But maybe you'd feel better if you talked to someone."

"What? Like a therapist?" responded Santana bitterly "Ha. No thank you."

"Well, maybe you'd feel better if you told people? That way you're not in it alone."

Santana stood up from the piano and took a couple of steps away from Brittany.

"You're saying I should come out?" asked Santana with horror behind her words.

Brittany shrugged.

"I dunno, maybe it would help. Then the truth would be out there. You'd have nothing to hide behind anymore."

"Are you joking?" Santana could feel herself getting angry. "Did you not see what happened to Kurt and what's his name this morning?"

Santana looked away and scoffed.

"Seriously Britt, the only thing waiting for me if I come out is a daily slushie facial, if not something worse."

She turned away from Brittany, trying not to get too upset. She told herself to hide her feelings, don't let them show.

"I'm not about to go through that." Santana said before turning around.

"But what about me? You said that you loved me and wanted to be with me. You'd have to tell people if we got together." Asked Brittany softly.

"That's different, Britt. I'd do anything for you. If you and I were together, I'd be proud of who I am. But if I don't have you...if I don't have you by my side, if I don't have you as an incentive, I can't deal with the backlash. Not yet."

Santana looked at Brittany directly.

"Look, I know who I am. And _you_ know who I am. And there will come a day when I won't hide it. But I can't do it now. Not without you."

Santana reached forward and squeezed Brittany's hand gently. She then turned and walked out of the room.

Brittany let her face go limp. She wanted so badly for Santana to be happy and to be proud of who she was. She turned her attention back to the piano, this time pushing the first key. The deep, dark sound came out and filled the room. She let the sound ring out before sighing and leaving the room.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So sorry for the long wait. Life has taken over. Finals are going to be coming up so it might be longer before the next one but I promise to keep working on this. Thanks again for all the reviews and please keep submitting them. Reviews are encouragement to keep writing. Enjoy this chapter, it's a bit of a transitional one, but it's setting up the "action" of the upcoming chapters. But we do get a bit more interaction with the other glee kids. Anyway, keep reading and reviewing and I'll update as soon as possible. Thanks!**

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><p>"This is bullshit!" yelled Puck to no one in particular.<p>

He was standing at the back of the choir room, fuming with anger. His hands were balled into fists. The rest of the glee club sat silently in the room. No one made eye contact. Kurt and Blaine stood hand in hand at the front of the classroom. Kurt's white sweater was stained blue while Blaine's hair was so sticky it clung to his forehead as if he had glued it. They were both looking at the ground, clearly embarrassed. The silence seemed louder than Puck's yelling.

"I swear to God, I'm gonna kill Karofsky" chimed in Sam.

The rest of the club turned to look at Sam. He sat on the edge of his chair, staring at Kurt. The club fell silent. They all felt bad for Kurt and Blaine. Seeing the two of them standing at the front of the class covered in hardened blue slushie made everyone feel as if they'd _all_ been slushied.

"You will do nothing of the sort." Said Kurt declaratively.

All eyes fell on Kurt, including Blaine's. Kurt held his head high. He was regal, even covered in slushie.

"No. Karofsky needs to learn that he can't keep doing this. I think it's time the glee boys sent him the message." Shouted Puck.

Artie, Mike, and Sam all nodded in agreement. The girls remained silent and still with their eyes still fixed on Kurt. Finn sat awkwardly with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"And you honestly think that he'll get that message?" replied Kurt.

Mr. Schue walked forward.

"Kurt's right you guys." He said. "Ganging up on Karofsky will only encourage his behavior."

Puck sat down violently in his chair.

"But Mr. Schue, this is bull." Said Sam. "He already drove Kurt out of here, who knows what else he'll do next. I for one would love to have Kurt back here. And there's no way that's gonna happen if Karofsky and Azimio are still torturing everyone who's just a little bit different."

"Look, we all want to see Kurt back at McKinley, but violence isn't the way to do it." Said Mr. Schuester.

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand before letting go and walking forward.

"Mr. Schue, if I may?" asked Kurt politely. "Yes, guys like Karofsky only respond to violence. But they only respond with more violence. It isn't going to make them see that they are wrong. The best thing we can do right now is let me and Blaine walk out of here, hand in hand, proud of who we are."

"Kurt's right," interjected Blaine. "Thank you all for standing up for us. But the only way Karofsky is gonna see that he's wrong is if we continue being proud, and not hiding who we are."

Blaine and Kurt looked at one another lovingly. Kurt sighed and looked down. He wanted to break the tension. The last thing he wanted was tension for his first glee club visit since he left McKinley.

"As much as I haven't missed the slushie facial, I have missed all of you. And all I want to do right now, other than shower, is sit and watch you all sing." Said Kurt emotionally.

Kurt and Blaine both took seats in the front row. Rachel smiled and reached over, grabbing Kurt's hand briefly, giving it a squeeze before letting go. Mr. Schuester smiled at Kurt before walking to the center of the room.

"Okay guys, you heard the man. Let's get started." He said.

He took a look around the room and his smile quickly faded and was replaced with confusion.

"Um, where's Santana?" asked Mr. Schue.

Everyone but Brittany looked around the room, noticing the missing presence. Brittany sat still in her chair. She had noticed immediately that Santana was absent from today's glee club. Puck looked up and raised his hand slightly.

"I think I know where she is. Can I be excused for the rest of the meeting?" he asked.

Mr. Schuester looked at him skeptically.

"I promise I won't kick Karofsky's ass if I see him" Puck chimed.

Mr. Schuester nodded.

"Go ahead Puck".

Brittany watched as Puck walked out of the room. She wanted to go with him. She wanted to find Santana and find out why she wasn't in glee today. But she was worried that she was the reason why Santana was avoiding glee. She wanted to help, she just no longer knew how.

Santana sat on the hood of her car in front of the football field. She stared out onto the field that she used to dominate when she was on the Cheerios. She missed those days. Yes, Sue was an unbelievable tyrant who had a tendency to make most people cry, but Santana missed it. She missed being a part of a group that was loved by the rest of the school. Plain and simple, being on the Cheerios made you better than everyone else. At least as far as status was concerned. Santana missed the feeling of self confidence. When she was on the Cheerios she never worried about what other people were saying. But now it was all she worried about.

Santana laid back against the windshield. She wondered what was happening in glee club right now. She knew that odds are the class was singing a sincere ballad to Kurt about how much they love and support him. She should have been in there with them. But she couldn't look Kurt in the eye. At least not today. She knew he had seen her conversation with Brittany. He made her feel like a coward. Not by saying anything, but just by his actions. He was so brave and took so much abuse, and yet she couldn't even tell people about who she truly was.

While lost in thought, Santana saw a strange figure standing over her. All she could make out was a perfectly groomed Mohawk. She sat up violently.

"Jesus, Puck! You scared the shit out of me." She said.

"Sorry," said Puck as he hoisted himself up onto Santana's hood.

Santana scooted over so that he'd have more room. They sat silently for a moment, looking out at the football field.

"So, you skipped glee today." He said.

"Yeah, I just wasn't feeling it today." She replied, squinting her eyes.

Puck turned toward Santana and glared at her. She immediately looked away, hoping he'd do the same.

"Alright Lopez, it's time to cut the shit." He said forcefully.

Santana turned back to him and scowled.

"What the hell are you talking about, Mohawk?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about."

Puck jumped off the hood of the car and walked in front of Santana.

"You didn't show up to glee today because Kurt and his boy toy got a slushie facial and you're terrified of the same thing happening to you." He was practically yelling at her.

Santana opened her mouth to defend herself but Puck cut her off before she had a chance to speak.

"So you're a lesbian. Boo freakin hoo. Get over it." He looked her straight in the eye. "The Santana I used to know wouldn't let that stop her from getting what she wants."

Santana jumped off the car.

"Look, I know what I want. I told Brittany how I felt but she chose Artie. There's nothing I can do." Santana was yelling at Puck.

"Lopez, I love my boy Artie. Really, I do. But everybody knows that Brittany wants you. Hell, _he_ probably even knows it. It's not as if you guys are subtle. Anytime the three of us got down and dirty at my place, you two would only be focused on each other. I didn't care because I was still in a freaking three way, but it's obvious you guys are hot for each other."

Santana dropped her head and looked at the floor.

"I just don't want to be driven out of this school like Kurt. I don't want everyone to talk behind my back."

Puck reached forward and put a hand on Santana's shoulder.

"Lopez, you're the biggest bitch at this school, people _already_ talk behind your back."

Santana looked up at Puck in disgust. She punched his arm hard.

"What the hell? Aren't you supposed to be making me feel better?" She asked angrily.

Puck smiled.

"No, I'm supposed to talk sense into you. You're a bitch. People talk about how you're a bitch. Telling people that you're gay isn't going to change the fact that everybody thinks you're a bitch. That's still going to be the most important part about you." He said.

Santana stared at Puck blankly.

"I don't know if I should hug you or be offended right now."

"All I'm saying is, don't be such a pussy. If you own it, nobody can make you feel bad about who you are."

"Karofsky can. I mean, look what he's done to Kurt." She said solemnly.

Puck laughed slightly and shook his head.

"Yeah, well if you had bothered to show up to glee today, you'd know that Kurt still isn't ashamed of who he is. He's still gonna walk out of this school holding hands with Blaine. They're still proud of who they are. And you should be too."

Puck shoved her lightly. Santana smiled at him.

"I'm gonna go back. I think Artie's gonna rap something." Said Puck. "You coming?"

Santana shook her head.

"No, I'm still gonna sit this one out. But I promise I'll be there tomorrow." She replied.

Puck nodded at Santana and began walking back towards the school. He turned around and shouted.

"Just remember, Lopez, don't be ashamed of who you are. Girl on girl is hot!"

Santana laughed and shook her head.

"Fuck off, Puckerman!"

Puck laughed and kept walking. Santana turned back towards the football field. Even though Puck had told her what she needed to hear, she was left with even more doubt and more fear. She took out her cell phone and looked at the glowing picture on the screen. It was a picture of her and Brittany in their pajamas. They were both laughing and had drawn on moustaches. This was a picture from last year's Cheerios camp. Santana closed the phone and looked back towards the football field.

"God, what am I going to do?" she asked out loud.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Since I took so long on the last update, I thought I'd give you guys a new one quickly. This chapter was probably my favorite to write so far so reviews would be much appreciated. I hope you guys enjoy. I'm already working on chapter 14 for you all. Read on!**

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><p>Santana went to school the next day in a haze. She hadn't slept the night before. Instead she had tossed and turned in bed, thinking of all the possibilities of what would happen if she were to come out. Every scenario she came up with was negative. Coming out would mean that she would be forever mocked. Dyke. Butch. These words already haunted her in her own mind. She didn't know if she'd be able to take them coming from the mouths of other people. As tough as she was on the outside, Santana was actually quite fragile. She was constantly scared. Of <em>everything<em>. What would people think? What would Karofsky do? What if Brittany never wants her? What if she loses her friends? What if the glee club doesn't support her because of how awful she was to Kurt? These questions and "what if" scenarios swarmed her mind. She couldn't turn them off long enough to sleep and instead spent the night tossing and turning in her bed.

Once at school, Santana walked the halls in a zombie-like trance. She did her best to avoid Puck and Brittany. The only two people who knew her secret. The only two people who wanted what was best for her. The only two people who, if she saw them, would encourage her to come out. But Santana wasn't ready for that. And she knew that above all else, she didn't want to hear about it. Especially not today. Not after the week she'd had.

Santana stood against her locker. She watched as her friends and classmates moseyed around the hall. She watched Mercedes and Rachel walk down the hallway in a heated but friendly debate. Santana figured it was about who was the bigger diva. They were constantly arguing about that. Rachel talked in long, definitive statements while Mercedes rolled her eyes and shook her head. On the other side of the corridor, Mike was standing next to Tina. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small white flower. He reached coyly around Tina's shoulder and held it up to her face. She blushed as she took it from his hand and smelled it flirtatiously. Mike leaned in and kissed her cheek sweetly.

She watched as Will leaned against some of the lockers, talking to Ms. Pillsbury. Sue stood across from them, rolling her eyes at the sight of the two flirting. Sue then shifted her glance to a sophomore who was slouching as he walked. She grabbed his backpack up held him up, his feet almost leaving the ground.

"Learn how to walk, Chachi!" She yelled as she pushed him forward.

Santana then shifted her focus to Quinn. She was walking down the hall with Finn. She was talking to him about how this was _their_ year and they had the chance to be on top of the school or some shit. Finn walked forward with a blank stare. Any idiot could tell that he wasn't paying any attention to what Quinn was saying. But Quinn kept talking none the less, keeping a wary eye out for Rachel. Puck and Lauren were walking along the hall laughing at what Santana assumed was a dirty joke told by Puck. Santana then looked across the way and saw Sam pulling his jacket out of his locker. Sam turned around and saw Santana staring at him. He smiled politely and continued walking in the other direction. Santana then noticed Artie rolling himself down the hall. She instinctively frowned at the sight of Brittany's boyfriend. But when she realized that he was alone, she immediately wondered where Brittany was.

The sound of a locker shutting quickly pulled Santana from her thoughts. She turned her head to look at the person next to her. Brittany shifted her weight from her right foot to her left. She smiled sweetly at Santana. Her long blonde hair was loose around her shoulders.

"Hey" she said sweetly.

"Hey Britt" returned Santana.

Brittany studied Santana's face, clearly picking up that something was wrong. She could see that Santana's usually dark and narrowed eyes looked tired and pained.

"You okay?" asked Brittany. "You look like you're having a bad day."

Santana looked down at her feet then back up to Brittany.

"More like a bad month actually" she said with an obviously fake smile, trying not to show how she really felt.

Brittany frowned.

"Don't worry about it though," continued Santana, "I'm just going through a rough patch. I'll be okay soon, I promise."

"Good, I don't like it when you're sad." Replied Brittany with a sad smile.

Suddenly a loud, sharp sound rang out in the hallway. Both Brittany and Santana jumped at the sound of it. They both turned to look down the hall. Karofsky was shoving a freshman into the lockers. Santana had never personally seen this kid before, at least not that she remembered. But her mind immediately went back to the day before. She remembered seeing Karofsky and Azimio throw slushies at Kurt and Blaine as she stood by and did nothing. Out of nowhere, Santana was overcome with a feeling of rage. Rage over what Karofsky had done to Kurt and the rest of the glee club. Santana slammed her locker and began walking angrily over to Karofsky. Brittany stepped forward, confused.

"Santana, what are you doing?" she asked.

Santana ignored the question. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this angry. And she certainly didn't understand why it was happening now. As she got closer to the scuffle, she could make out what Karofsky was saying.

"So you think it's wise to tell people that you think I'm fat? Well guess what? I got eyes and ears all over this school. Call me fat again. Go ahead, I dare you!"

He continued shoving the sophomore into the locker while the boy remained silent.

"Go ahead. What? Are you too scared now? You little fag."

With the word "fag" Santana jumped at Karofsky, pushing him away from the sophomore.

"Hey!" She yelled. "Back off, Karofsky!"

Karofsky shifted backwards, confused.

"What the hell?" he said. "Go away, ghetto fabulous, this isn't your fight."

Santana stepped forward, holding her ground. The sophomore remained still against the locker, surprised.

"I just made it my fight," she yelled. "So like I said, back off!"

The hallway was still and quiet. Will and Emma looked on cautiously, ready to intervene should the altercation get serious. Sue folded her arms, watching Santana with great interest.

"Seriously Lopez, don't push me. This is between me and this little faggot."

Santana's eyes became large.

"No, it's not. Because I'm involved now. And I'm telling you to leave this kid alone."

Karofsky scoffed.

"And you know what? Stop using that fucking word. It's offensive." Said Santana.

"I can say whatever the hell I want to say. What do you care? You're not a dyke are you?" he returned.

"So what if I was?" replied Santana loudly.

The words had come out Santana's mouth before she could stop them. But at this point she no longer cared, she was too angry.

"I am sick and tired of you bullying people, Karofsky!" She continued.

Will and Emma looked at each other, surprised at what Santana had just said. Sue pulled the glasses out of her jacket pocket and began chewing lightly on the earpiece. She crossed her arms over her chest and continued watching.

Karofsky stood in front of her, surprised by her reaction. Santana was mortified at what she had just said. But this only made her angrier. She began charging Karofsky.

"You know what? Hit me!" she yelled.

Karofsky looked terrified.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Go on, do it! I would love an excuse to kick your sorry ass!" She yelled at the hulking boy in front of her.

Karofsky began backing up, intimidated. Brittany looked on with her hand covering her mouth. She had never seen Santana act this angry or upset. Will ran forward and jumped in between Karofsky and Santana. He held her shoulders back so that she wouldn't continue charging forward. He turned to Karofsky.

"Dave, you need to go. Now!" he yelled.

Karofsky took off in the other direction. Mr. Schuester was still focused on a screaming Santana. He looked over at Emma.

"Emma?"

Ms. Pillsbury nodded her head and stood in the middle of the hall.

"Everyone, go to class. Please, there's nothing to see here." She said as loud as she could.

No one moved. Sue put her glasses away and stepped in front of Ms. Pillsbury.

"I got it from here Irma." She said softly.

She then took out her bullhorn and screeched into it.

"If there is a single person standing in this hall in five seconds, I swear to God I will make you so miserable, you'll want to go to Guantanamo Bay for vacation. MOVE, NOW!"

The crowd quickly dissipated. Everyone scurried down the hall into their next classes. Brittany stood still, her eyes still fixed on Santana. Sue looked at her and clapped her hands to get her attention.

"You too, Bimbo Barbie." She said.

Brittany looked up at Sue.

"But I should..."

Sue cut her off.

"Go." Said Sue demandingly.

Brittany turned and walked away slowly, looking back at Santana one last time before going into class.

Santana finally stopped fighting Mr. Schuester and instead broke down in tears. She leaned into Mr. Schuester's jacket. He held her up, completely taken aback by her emotions. Sue looked over at Santana and Mr. Schuester and began walking over. She grabbed Santana's arm and tugged gently. Santana looked up, surprised to see Sue.

"Come on, Airbags." Said Sue.

Santana let go of Mr. Schuester and began walking next to Sue. Will and Emma stood, watching them walk away. They both left the hall, unsure of what Sue was going to do.

Santana sat in front of Sue's desk. She kept her head down and wiped away tears.

"Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. I know it's been awhile, but you still know the rules. There is absolutely no crying in my office. And with your engorged breasts I'm afraid you might actually start lactating. And ever since Quinn Fabray got pregnant I've had a strict No Lactating policy as well." Said Sue as she sat down behind her desk.

Santana quickly wiped away the rest of her tears and sniffled. She didn't dare lift her head. She didn't want to look Sue in the eye.

"That was the worst display of indecency I think I've ever witnessed at this school." Said Sue.

Santana was terrified. She wasn't even on the Cheerios anymore but she still feared whatever punishment was coming her way.

"Santana I want you to look at me when I'm talking to you." Demanded Sue.

Santana reluctantly lifted her head.

"I know you're into ladies." Said Sue.

Santana's mouth fell open. She tried to find the words to defend herself but Sue didn't give her a chance.

"Save it, plastic boobs. And it wasn't your little outburst out there that informed me, I've known for a long time."

Santana was utterly shocked.

"Anytime we'd have a car wash you'd spend more time trying to pull down Brittany's bikini than washing any cars. I didn't mind because we got more perverts and therefore more money. But it wasn't as if you were subtle."

"But why didn't you say anything?" asked Santana softly.

Sue rolled her eyes.

"Because I don't care. As long as you could still cheer and do a perfect back flip I didn't care if you went home to drool while watching the luscious ladies of The L Word."

Santana took a deep breath. She didn't know what to say.

"But that out there, that can't happen again. I understand that Karofsky is a bully but you can't go off on him in the halls for no good reason. I won't allow it. So what you need to do now is compose yourself and go to class. And figure out what you're gonna do about the fact that this whole school now thinks you're crazy." Said Sue as she walked over to her door and opened it.

Santana got up from her chair and walked over to the door. She paused before walking through it and looked up at Sue.

"Thank you, Coach Sylvester."

"I'm not your Coach. And you better hurry or else you'll miss The Ellen Show." Replied Sue.

Santana left the office and walked over to her locker. She grabbed her books and started walking to class, unsure of what she was going to do once she got there.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Okay, finals week is coming up so this might be the last update for awhile. Please review and let me know what you think. And thanks to all those who have favorited and reviewed!**

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><p>Santana walked into Mr. Schuester's Spanish class. She looked over to her desk and already waiting was Brittany. Brittany's eyes lit up as soon as she saw Santana. Brittany waved her over frantically. This was going to be the first time they had spoken since Santana's little outburst this morning. Santana began walking over to Brittany when Mr. Schue stopped her.<p>

"Hey Santana, Ms. Pillsbury wants to see you." He said quietly.

Santana looked passed her teacher to Brittany who was standing next to her chair, curious about what was being said. Santana refused to make eye contact with Mr. Schuester. She was still embarrassed from this morning.

"Oh, thanks Mr. Schue, I'll go after class."

She tried walking around him but he cut her off.

"Actually I told her you could go this period. I mean, you already know Spanish so you won't be missing much." He then switched to a whisper. "I really think you should go talk to her."

Santana nodded politely. Will patted her shoulder gently and walked to the front of the room.

"Hola clase. Sacan su tarea por favor." Announced Will.

Santana looked at Brittany before leaving the room. Brittany looked concerned and mouthed "what?" Santana returned the look with a shrug before walking into the hall.

Emma was sitting behind her desk, neatly placing new pamphlets in the holders. Some of the pamphlets in the new collection read: "Help, My Dreams Still Make Me Sticky", "Why Do I Keep Eating Toilet Paper?", and "Step-Daddy Issues". Santana knocked lightly on her door. Emma energetically waved her in. Santana opened the door and walked in cautiously.

"Um, Mr. Schuester said you wanted to see me?" said Santana sheepishly.

"Yes, come on in Santana. Take a seat." Smiled Emma.

Santana sat at the edge of the chair. Subconsciously, she wanted to be ready to make a quick getaway. She looked around Ms. Pillsbury's office. The entire office was spotless.

_Last February, while Brittany was walking to school one day, she came upon an injured bird. She immediately called Santana and frantically yelled at her to help. When Santana pulled up, Brittany was sitting on the sidewalk, stroking the bird in her jacket._

_"Ew, Britt, that thing probably has all kinds of diseases." Said Santana_

_Brittany continued stroking the bird gently. She looked up at Santana with puppy dog eyes._

_"Look San, he's hurt. I can't just leave him here." She said sympathetically._

_Santana tilted her head, admiring the girl in front of her._

_"You have to though, we're gonna be late for school. Coach Sylvester will kill us if we're late again."_

_Brittany looked back down at the bird. She remained silent. Santana knew she wouldn't be able to win this battle. She knelt down next to Brittany and stroked her hair, much like Britt was doing to the bird._

_"How about this? We'll take him to school and you can keep him in your locker until he gets better, okay? But we gotta go now." Said Santana._

_Brittany squealed softly, so as not to scare her new friend. She got up and got in Santana's car, cradling the bird, now aptly named "Duckie", to her chest._

_Brittany kept Duckie in her locker for two weeks, bringing him food every day. She kept him there until Principal Figgins heard him chirping one day. After releasing the bird, Principal Figgins told Brittany that she had to spend one hour a day with Ms. Pillsbury's office for two weeks. Brittany was so distraught over not only losing Duckie, but also being forced to talk with a stranger. Santana did her best to console her._

_"It'll be okay, Britt. Duckie probably already found his family and is having a blast being outside." Said Santana while rubbing Brittany's back. "You did such a good job healing him. At least he's all better now, right?"_

_Brittany sniffled, hugging Santana tightly._

_"I know. I just miss him." She said. "Ugh, and now I have to talk to Ms. Pillsbury. I don't want to."_

_Santana tried to think of how to make her feel better._

_"It won't be that bad. The time will go by so quick."_

_"How?" asked Brittany, still upset._

_Santana smiled._

_"I know. You know how Ms. Pillsbury is always like super clean?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Every time you go to see her, look around and try to see if you can find dust in her office." Said Santana with a smirk._

_Brittany smiled._

_"Really? You think that'll work?"_

_"Totally, and you should leave smudges around her office and see if they're still there the next time you have to meet with her. It'll be fun."_

_Brittany smiled at Santana before hugging her._

After each visit with Ms. Pillsbury, Brittany would talk about how little dust there was and where Brittany placed the smudges. They both giggled endlessly whenever a smudge was still present.

Santana now sat in front of Ms. Pillsbury. She immediately began looking around the office for dust and residual smudges left from Brittany.

"So Santana, how are you feeling?" asked Emma softly.

Santana continued to look around the office, not hearing what Emma had asked.

"Santana?"

Santana looked up at Ms. Pillsbury.

"I'm sorry, what?" asked Santana bewildered.

"I asked how you were feeling." Said Ms. Pillsbury.

"Oh, sorry. I'm okay, I guess." Replied Santana without much enthusiasm.

Emma tilted her head, trying to make eye contact with Santana.

"You didn't seem very okay in the hall earlier."

Santana looked up at Ms. Pillsbury. She narrowed her eyes and immediately became defensive.

"Okay, I get that this is like your job and everything, but we don't have to do this." Said Santana firmly.

"Do what, exactly?" asked Emma.

"The whole 'talk about my feelings' thing. I'm not interested. So I went off on Karofsky earlier, after all the bullying he's done at this school you people should thank me." Santana replied with attitude.

Santana sat back in her chair. She had put on her full armor. It wasn't armor you could see, but it was the only armor she needed. The kind that prevents her from showing her emotions. The kind of armor that she should have been wearing earlier.

"And the crying?"

Emma leaned forward when she asked the question, squinting her eyes at Santana.

Santana shifted in her chair and looked out the window.

"I'm on my period. I always cry after a fight when I'm on my period."

Emma sat back in her chair. She remained silent for a moment, studying Santana's face. She was obviously hiding something. Emma had a strong feeling that the "What if I was?" outburst was more serious than Santana was letting on. The hardest part about being a guidance counselor was getting people to accept that they _needed_ guidance.

"Okay Santana," began Emma, "I understand that you think you're fine. And maybe you're right. But that outburst didn't come from nowhere. I get that you don't want to talk to me, and I'm not going to make you. But Santana, you're an amazing girl. Will- I mean- Mr. Schuester talks about you constantly and how much you've grown since last year."

Santana looked back up at Ms. Pillsbury.

"And whether you want to admit it or not, you've got some pain. I can see it."

Santana felt her armor coming down involuntarily.

"You're loved, Santana. And whatever you're going through right now, whatever it is that you're running from, you'll still be loved. You need to remember that."

Santana looked away from Ms. Pillsbury. She felt a tear fall down her right cheek, she tried to wipe it away discreetly. She sniffled and cleared her throat.

"Can I go now?" she asked, still not making eye contact.

Emma nodded.

"Yes, you can go. Just remember my door is always open," replied Emma with a smile.

Santana got up quickly and rushed out of the door. She walked briskly down the hall as she felt her eyes welling up. She stopped in the hallway against the lockers, taking a moment to catch her breath. She looked in the direction of Mr. Schue's Spanish class and then back towards Ms. Pillsbury's office.

"Damn it!" she said.

Santana then turned back and began walking back to Ms. Pillsbury's office. She pushed the door open fiercely. Emma jumped back, clearly startled.

"So how does this thing work?" demanded Santana.

"What?" asked Emma, still in shock.

"This whole therapy thing. How does it work? Is it like doctor-patient confidentiality? Like you can't tell people what I say and if you do I can sue you?"

Emma took a second to rebound from the surprise.

"Um, well technically I'm not a doctor or a therapist but everything said in here is strictly confidential. I won't tell anyone."

Santana pulled the chair out from the desk and sat down. She didn't talk right away and Emma knew not to disrupt her thought process. Suddenly Santana looked up.

"I'm gay."

The words surprised both of them.

"Holy shit," said Santana immediately. "Sorry, I know I'm not supposed to say that kind of stuff in front of a teacher or fake therapist or whatever but holy shit!"

Emma smiled.

"I haven't said those words very much. It still surprises me when I hear myself say them."

Santana's half smile then turned serious as she looked at Emma.

"So what does this mean?" she asked quickly.

"What?" asked Emma, confused by the question.

"What does this mean?" continued Santana. "You're the guidance counselor, I told you what I need guidance with, now help me."

"It's not that simple, Santana" replied Emma. "I mean, the obvious next step is telling people. But before that can happen, you need to accept it yourself. Embrace it."

"Ugh, that's it? That's all you're giving me?" asked Santana, disappointed.

Emma frowned.

"I don't have all the answers. But you have to love and accept yourself before you can expect anyone else to do the same."

Santana leaned back in her chair. She sighed loudly.

"Santana, I encourage you to come out and be proud of who you are. But no one can tell you when to do it or how. You have to decide when it's right for you."

Santana got up from her chair slowly and walked over to the door. She turned back to Emma.

"Thanks Ms. Pillsbury. I mean it" said Santana genuinely before walking out.

Emma nodded, hoping that Santana had taken what she had said to heart.

By the time Santana got back to Mr. Schue's class, it was almost time for lunch. Santana didn't want to walk into the crowded classroom and deal with the stares. So instead she peeked in the window. Brittany looked up and spotted Santana immediately. Santana pointed to her right and mouthed "choir room". Brittany narrowed her eyes in confusion for a split second before understanding. She nodded and then watched the clock anxiously for the five minutes to pass before lunch.

Santana paced back and forth in the choir room. Her arms were folded over her chest. She looked out the window at all the people walking the halls, impatiently scanning for Brittany. She returned to her pacing.

The door opened quickly and Brittany walked through it. Santana stopped her pacing and exhaled. Brittany closed the door softly behind her. She then turned back to Santana. They stared at each other for just a moment before Brittany walked over and wrapped her arms around the darker girl's neck. Santana returned the sentiment, wrapping her own arms around Brittany's waist. There they stood for a long time. Neither one trying to speak to the other. They engulfed one another in that hug. Neither girl tried to break the hug, they both needed it as much as the other. They simply stood in the middle of the choir room, joined together as one complete person.

They both let go after a while. Brittany looked Santana in the eyes. She brought her hands up to Santana's cheeks and cradled them softly.

"What happened today?" she asked bluntly.

Santana shook her head.

"I don't know, Britt."

Santana reached up and grabbed Brittany's hands, pulling them down and using them to lead her over to a couple of chairs. They sat down close to one another.

"I don't know what happened, Britt," said Santana. "Seeing Karofsky beat up on that kid today...I just snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. All the bullying and the torment. It's not right. It made me think of all the horrible shit he's done to Kurt."

Brittany squeezed Santana's hand. She knew that Santana loved Kurt and wanted to get revenge for him, but she also knew how terrified Santana was of suffering the same fate.

"I shouldn't have just stood there when Kurt and Blaine got slushied yesterday. I should have said something. But I didn't," continued Santana. "So I did it today. I know it's not good enough because I wasn't doing it _for_ Kurt. But I just couldn't take it anymore."

She paused. Brittany continued holding Santana's hands in hers.

"I guess today I just snapped. God, the whole school must think I'm some kind of whack job" said Santana.

"Of course they don't," replied Brittany. "Most of them just think you're a bad ass for standing up to Karofsky."

Santana smiled.

"You scared me today," said Brittany somberly.

Santana looked up at the blonde in front of her.

"I know, and I'm so so sorry for that" said Santana, clutching Brittany's hands. "I didn't mean to scare you. I think I scared myself a bit too. But I think I know what I need to do now."

Brittany cocked her head in confusion.

"What do you need to do?" she asked.

"You just need to wait and see" replied Santana.

She looked both excited and terrified at the same time. But inside, she was exhilarated.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. Keep reading, it only gets more interesting from here. Thanks to everyone following along and remember to leave feedback! Enjoy!**

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><p>Why do all school clocks look the same? A big white circle, outlined in black plastic. Each of the twelve numbers stand large and proud. The hour and minute hands so bulky and plain. They moved glacially around the numbers throughout the day. The skinny, red, second hand flicks itself around the clock with purpose, pausing sixty precise moments before moving once more. Schools live by their clocks. These clocks are in charge of telling the bells when to go off. The bells are in charge of telling the staff and students when to leave class, go to lunch, go to class, go home, or leave lunch. The clocks were essentially the heartbeat of a school.<p>

Santana sat in her chair, watching the clock intently. Her eyes followed the second hand as it ticked its way around the clock. She sat forward in her chair, pressing her stomach against her desk. Her left hand was holding her pen up to her mouth as she chewed furiously on the end. Her right hand crossed over her body and gripped the left side of her desk. She didn't blink. Her eyes stayed fixed on the clock at the front of the classroom, hovering comfortably above her math teacher's head.

A week had gone by since the Karofsky incident. Santana had spent the week trying to dodge Karofsky and his football thugs. She knew that Karofsky was too much of a pussy to confront her, but if he was in a group she knew the insults would start flying.

At the beginning of the week, Santana had made a decision. It wasn't a decision that she came to lightly, but it was what she knew she had to do. She watched the clock. The clock was a reminder that she was about to follow through with this decision. It was a reminder that soon, everything would change.

The loud buzzing of her cell phone pulled Santana's gaze away from the clock. She looked down at the name glowing from her phone. It was a text from Kurt.

"Sure, I'll be there."

Santana exhaled and nodded her head. Her fingers glided over the keys quickly as she typed out a reply.

"Thanks. I'll text you to let you know when Karofsky leaves."

She hit send and put her phone back into her jacket pocket. She looked back up to the clock. School was almost over. Which meant that it was almost time for glee club. It was almost time for Santana to follow through with her plan. Santana's stomach knotted at the thought. She clutched her stomach forcefully. She had been getting these nervous pangs all week, but today was the worst. It was the culmination of nervous jitters and utter fear of the unknown. Her breathing became labored. Her nerves were really getting to her.

Santana closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. She did her best to lower her heart rate.

"Just breathe," she thought. "You can do this."

The bell rang and caught Santana by surprise. Her eyes shot open as she looked around the room and watched as everyone gathered their belongings and shuffled out the door. Santana opened her notebook and furiously scribbled down the homework before picking up her purse and leaving.

Santana walked over to her locker and put her books inside. She kept her eye out for Karofsky. She wanted to make sure that he was gone before she texted Kurt. She caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. She immediately shut her locker and darted stealthily towards him. She followed him out to the parking lot, making sure to duck behind a wall whenever he turned around. He stood outside by his truck, a beat up '77 Chevy, with Azimio and a couple of other football players. Santana watched as they laughed at some of the kids who passed by them. Azimio laughed as he stole a hat off of the head of a freshman. The freshman knew better than to try and get it back. Santana rolled her eyes, feeling anger building up inside.

"Not now, San," she murmured quietly to herself.

Finally, the group disbanded and Karofsky drove off. Santana whipped out her phone and texted Kurt. She could still hear Karofsky's truck backfiring as he drove down the road.

"Okay, the coast is clear."

Santana looked at the time on her phone.

"Shit."

She walked briskly towards the choir room. She was late.

Mr. Schue was still writing the word "Nationals" on the board when she walked in. She quickly walked to an open seat next to Puck in the second row and sat down.

"Okay guys," said Mr. Schuester. "Nationals is in three weeks. We've still gotta raise money, create a set list, and nail the choreography. We've gotta start cracking down."

Will walked over to the piano and began taking sheet music out of his bag when Kurt walked in.

"Kurt!" yelled Mercedes, excited to see her friend.

Everyone looked at the front of the choir room as Kurt sauntered into the class. Mercedes walked over and hugged him tight. Will turned around, surprised but delighted to see his former student.

"Hey Kurt," said Will with a smile. "What are you doing here?"

Kurt feigned offense.

"What? You don't want me here?" he replied with sass.

"No it's not that," explained Will. "We just weren't expecting you to visit again so soon."

Kurt looked over at Santana.

"Well then I guess you gotta ask Santana why I'm here," replied Kurt.

All eyes fell on Santana who was sitting quietly in her chair, hands folded in her lap.

"Um, Santana invited you here?" asked Rachel skeptically.

Kurt simply nodded, he himself was unsure of her reasoning and intentions.

Santana took a deep breath and stood up.

"Mr. Schue, may I?" she asked softly.

Will looked confused but nodded.

"Yeah, of course, Santana."

Brittany was sitting next to Artie. Her hand was in his lap, fingers intertwined with his. She watched intently as Santana walked to the front of the choir room. She was just as surprised as the rest of the glee club. Santana hadn't mentioned anything about Kurt or wanting to talk to everyone. Brittany tried to think of what Santana could possibly be up to.

Santana walked up to Kurt and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't you have a seat, Kurt?" she said nicely.

Kurt nodded and sat next to Rachel and Tina. Tina leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"What's going on?"

Kurt merely shrugged. Everyone was full of anticipation. It wasn't often that Santana took the time out to address the whole glee club. Or ever.

Santana cleared her throat loudly. Her eyes were focused on the floor and her hands were clasped together tightly. Everyone could tell that she was nervous. She looked up from the ground at all of the faces staring back at her.

"There's something I wanted...something I _needed_ to talk to you all about. And whether he goes to a different school now or not, Kurt is a part of this glee club and I thought he should be here to hear this too."

Rachel immediately interjected.

"If this is about you wanting a solo at Nationals, I think everyone deserves a chance to plead their case. I have prepared a two hour power point presentation for just such an occasion."

Santana rolled her eyes and scowled.

"Shut up, Berry," snapped Santana. "This isn't about Nationals. This isn't even really about glee club."

Brittany leaned forward slightly. Her eyes searched Santana's face. She was usually able to predict what Santana was about to do or at least able to tell what was going on in her head. But ever since the Karofsky incident last week, she's been unable to tell what was going to happen.

Santana looked around the room.

"The past two years, glee club has been about expressing yourself. Mr. Schue has taught us to be open about who we are and to embrace our true selves."

Santana spoke eloquently. Her hands were sweaty and her heart was racing, but she kept her composure. She didn't want to look at terrified as she felt.

"And so far, we've been able to express ourselves through song," she paused. "But I don't want to do that today. I don't want to hide behind anything when I tell you what I have to tell you."

Puck's mouth dropped open. He understood what she was about to do. Kurt cocked his head. Something about this speech seemed oddly familiar, he wasn't sure if Santana was about to go down the same road he went down last year, but it certainly seemed that way. He crossed his right leg over his left and folded his hands over his knee, watching carefully.

Santana squeezed her eyes together tightly, almost as if she had to force out whatever she was keeping inside.

"The fact of the matter is..."

Santana paused before finishing the sentence. She opened her eyes. The silence hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity. During the silence, Santana looked at each person in the room, almost in slow motion. Quinn sat forward in her chair, never breaking eye contact with Santana, clearly captivated by what was happening. Next to her sat Finn, who was cracking his knuckles and looking puzzled by Santana's presence. Puck was next down the line. As she made eye contact, he nodded at her, urging her to continue. Lauren sat next to Puck in the top row, looking thoroughly disinterested. Sam sat on the other side of her. He watched Santana closely, remembering their most recent talk in the park where she told him that there was someone else. He found himself wondering if this announcement had anything to do with that. In the first row, Mercedes, Mike, and Tina all looked baffled by the situation. They weren't used to Santana being so open, even if they had no idea what was about to come out of her mouth next. Kurt and Rachel were both sitting back in their seats. Kurt had a guess about what was about to happen, but didn't want to jump to conclusions before Santana had a chance to confirm or deny them. Rachel looked excited about the obvious new drama that was about to hit the glee club. Artie sat, interested, but seemingly removed from the situation, not seeming to think that this particular situation pertained to him.

And finally Brittany. Santana looked deep into Brittany's eyes. They always had a way of communicating without words. Brittany released Artie's hand and leaned forward. She smiled ever so sweetly at Santana. Instantly, Santana's heart stopped racing. She was able to breathe easier, just by looking into Brittany's eyes.

"...I'm gay."

Santana finished the sentence without looking away from Brittany. She stayed locked onto her eyes as the rest of the class reacted. Brittany smiled proudly, tears forming in her eyes. Santana smiled back slightly. It was a smile that one might miss if you didn't really know Santana. Brittany caught it.

The noise filling the room caused Santana to look away from Brittany. The choir room was erupting with comments.

"I knew it," said Quinn with pursed lips.

"Wait, seriously?" asked Sam in confusion.

"That's my girl" replied Puck, proudly.

"Wait, hold up, are you for real?" asked Mercedes in shock.

"Oh, what da hell?" said Artie, quickly turning to look at Brittany.

"Wait a second, I lost my virginity to a lesbian?" asked Finn, baffled.

Puck immediately slapped Finn on the back while laughing hard.

The chatter continued in the room for about a minute. Will sat in his chair, unsure of what to do. Most everyone in the room was taking by surprise. Santana stood at the front of the choir room awkwardly. She had only planned this far. She didn't know how to handle everyone's reactions. Kurt sat in his seat with a coy smile on his face.

Will readied himself for a speech about accepting who you are, when Kurt stood up. The chatter died down until there was utter silence. He walked up to Santana slowly. She was unsure what he was going to say. She had been so awful to him, making countless gay jokes. She could only imagine the payback he could put her through.

Kurt reached forward and grabbed her hands in his. He leaned in close and smiled.

"Welcome to the team."

Santana stared into Kurt's kind eyes.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've said to you over the past tw-"

Kurt put his index finger up to her lips.

"It's already forgotten." He said with a smile.

Kurt squeezed Santana's hands. Brittany stood up from her chair and walked over to Santana. Artie watched his girlfriend walk away from him. He always knew that Santana and Brittany were abnormally close, but with Santana's news, he was suddenly afraid that it may be something more.

Santana looked away from Kurt and saw Brittany walking towards her. She smiled with tears in her eyes. Brittany wrapped her arms around the darker girl and pulled her in tight. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist. They held each other for several seconds. Santana buried her face in Brittany's neck. Brittany could feel Santana's tears hitting her skin. She reached up and laid her hand on the back of Santana's head. Santana grabbed the back of Brittany's shirt, clutching it in her fist.

The rest of the glee club looked on. Tina grabbed Mike's hand and squeezed it. Mercedes put her hand up to her mouth, finally understanding the amount of pain that Santana must have been living with.

As Brittany and Santana broke apart, Quinn got up from her seat and walked forward. Santana wiped the tears from her cheeks. Brittany backed away so that Quinn could stand in front of Santana. She reached out and put her hand on Santana's arm.

"It's about time," she said with a smile.

Quinn then leaned in for a slightly awkward hug. As they broke away, Santana rolled her eyes playfully and mouthed the words "thank you".

Will walked up to Santana and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you for that, Santana," said Will. "That took a lot of courage. I'm glad you could share it with us."

Santana nodded. She turned to Brittany and smiled again. She then, along with Brittany, Kurt, and Quinn took their seats again. As Santana sat down, Puck reached over for a fist bump. He was beaming with pride and Santana was happy to fist bump him back.

The rest of glee club went by in a blur. Mr. Schue spent the majority of it talking about the need to rehearse for Nationals, rather than _actually_ rehearsing. Santana sat in the back, going over what had just happened in her mind.

She did it. She actually did it.

Santana felt giddy. She didn't show it of course. If she wanted to keep any shred of street cred around here she was going to have to cool it on the emotions. But she had actually told everyone. It was freeing. Of course now she'd have to deal with the backlash from the rest of the school. But for right now, she was out to her friends. The people who mattered.

Santana's motives behind coming out to the glee club were simple, to impress Brittany. But now that she had done it, she realized that she really did it for herself.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait everybody. But I give you a 4,600 word chapter. This is definitely the most intense chapter yet so reviews are very important. Please enjoy and please let me know what you think. We still have a few more chapters until the end so keep reading!**

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><p>Santana was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. The purple, flowery sheets were pulled up to her bare chest. Her arms were over the covers. Her hands were clasped together above her stomach. She bit her lip nervously. She was careful not to move too much.<p>

She had been in this place many times before. She had slept in this bed, in these sheets, countless times. She had stared at this ceiling more times than she cared to count. But this particular time was different. Rather than feeling at peace, or feeling safe like she usually did while in this bed, she felt nervous and anxious. Santana slowly directed her gaze from the ceiling down to the mass of blonde hair sprawled out on the pillow next to her. She was careful not to rock the bed too much. She didn't want to wake Brittany. At least, not yet. Santana repositioned herself slowly. She turned her body so that it was facing the naked girl next to her. She propped herself up on her elbow and rested her head on her hand. Brittany was lying on her stomach; the sheets came up just to the bottom of her naked back. Brittany's face was buried, a sea of blonde hair spread out across the pillow. Santana watched the slow rise and fall of her body as she breathed.

Santana reached over slowly, wanting to caress the body in front of her. But she stopped herself before actually making contact. Santana rolled over so that she was lying on her back again. Her head was swimming. She continued to nervously bite down on her lip. She cupped her forehead with her hand. How had this happened? Santana went over the previous day's events, everything that had lead up to last night, and now this morning.

She looked back over at Brittany again. She breathed deep.

"God, what do I do now?" she whispered to herself.

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><p><strong>ONE DAY EARLIER<strong>

Santana stood outside of McKinley High School. She looked at the building that had been her home for three years. For three years, Santana had ruled this school. She was loved (or more often than not, hated, but in high school there wasn't much of a difference between the two). But for three years, she had simply been playing a part. Santana was a great actress. She had played the part of the slutty, bitchy cheerleader. And she had played it well. But she had been hiding a huge part of who she was.

But today was different. Today, she was no longer acting. Today, she stood outside of the building, no longer hiding. She looked up at the school knowing that the girl walking in this morning was nothing like the girl who had been attending that school for the past three years.

Her secret was out. And there was no going back from that.

She stood outside of the high school for a few minutes. She needed to prepare herself for what would happen inside. Yes, the glee club was awesome and accepting. But word travels quickly at this school, and based on the fact that the one and only openly gay kid at this school was bullied so bad he had to transfer, Santana knew better than to expect a warm reception from the rest of her classmates. Santana looked down at her feet, willing them to move so she could get the day over with.

Brittany was walking up to campus when she spotted Santana standing outside. She walked up behind the brunette and watched her for a moment. It was one of the few times that Santana showed fear. Brittany was so proud of Santana. The fact that Santana had the courage to come out was huge and showed just how much she had grown. But Brittany knew how much Santana was afraid to go back to school today. She walked up closer to Santana.

"Hey" she said, catching Santana's attention.

Santana turned around and smiled upon seeing Brittany.

"Hey, Britt" she replied.

Brittany looked from Santana's eyes up to the building in front of her.

"You ready to go in there?" asked Brittany.

Santana shifted her feet nervously. She turned around to face the school once more.

"I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"

Brittany walked up so that she was next to Santana.

"Nope," she said, draping her arm over Santana's shoulder. "But at least you don't have to go in there alone."

Santana looked over at Brittany and smiled. And together, they walked into the school.

The first few hundred feet they walked to their lockers provided a different experience for each girl. While Brittany walked to her locker with a smile on her face and song in her head, Santana walked with fear. Brittany made eye contact with several students while walking down the hall, saying hi to those she knew and smiling at those she didn't. Santana on the other hand, diverted her gaze. She was certain that everyone who looked at her was laughing. Never before had Santana felt so judged upon entering a room. Whether this was actually happening or not didn't matter, Santana felt it so strongly.

By the time they actually reached their lockers, Santana's gaze was permanently fixed on the floor. Brittany turned and looked at Santana, surprised by her obvious nervousness.

"San, what's going on?" asked Brittany.

Santana looked around her, cautiously.

"I don't like this," she whispered abruptly. "I feel like everyone's staring at me."

Brittany looked around. Students were walking the halls, putting their notebooks in their lockers, talking loudly to one another. Not a single person was looking over at Santana.

"Santana, no one is looking at you" she said, trying to calm her down.

Santana continued to look around, nervously. Brittany furrowed her eyebrows. She grabbed Santana's arm and began walking, pulling Santana along with her.

"Come with me," she said forcefully.

Santana was surprised by the abruptness. Brittany pulled her into the girl's bathroom and let go of her arm. Brittany then checked under each stall to make sure that they were alone. She then stood in front of Santana.

"What is going on with you?" Brittany demanded. "You're not acting like yourself."

Santana felt herself getting defensive.

"I can't do this, okay?" she said forcefully. "I never should have come out. God, that was stupid. Now everyone is gonna be talking behind my back!"

Brittany looked confused.

"But _no one_ is talking about you. It's all in your head."

Santana snapped.

"What would you know, Britt?" she yelled. "You're not the one who branded yourself as a _dyke_ for the rest of your life! You insisted on me being open with who I am! I wasn't ready for this, this was a huge mistake and it's your fault!"

Brittany looked hurt. Silence fell over the two girls. Santana turned to the mirror. She knew immediately that she shouldn't have snapped at Brittany.

"I'm sorry, Britt, I didn't mean it." Santana paused and looked at her reflection. "Look at me. I'm a mess. I used to rule this school."

She walked over to Brittany who was silent and looking at the floor. Santana grabbed her arm and squeezed gently.

"I shouldn't have blamed you. It's not your fault," said Santana slowly. "I just don't think I'm ready for this. I'm not ready for the judgment."

Santana shook her head and dropped her arm. Brittany looked up.

"Do you honestly think you were on top of this school because you hid the fact that you're gay?" asked Brittany. "No. It was because you were confident. You ruled this school because you didn't show fear."

She reached over and put her hand on Santana's shoulder.

"You're no different than the Santana who has been here for three years."

Santana smiled and looked away from Brittany. She knew that the blonde was right. They both looked at each other and nodded. Without another word, they left the bathroom and made their way to their English class.

The rest of the day was better. Santana held her head up high. She figured she didn't have to _feel_ confident; she just had to look the part.

But the truth was, her coming out was big news at the school. And people _were_ talking about it. A lot. The chatter ranged from the benign:

"Good for her, after what happened to that gay kid, it was a pretty brave thing to do."

To the typical small town hate:

"That's disgusting. I swear I saw her checking me out in the locker room the other day. I am NOT changing next to her again."

All of this talk was done away from Santana. Brittany and the rest of the glee club were oblivious to the looks, the whispers. But Santana could tell things were different. But she was able to hold her head high and put up with it because she knew that Brittany was right. As long as she didn't let it get to her, then nothing bad would happen.

Santana was able to make it through the entire school day without incident. She and Brittany were gathering their things from their lockers, getting ready to leave when Azimio and Karofsky came walking up.

"Sup, dyke" said Azimio, bursting into laughter.

Karofsky joined him in laughing. He then held up his index and middle fingers to his mouth and began wiggling his tongue between them.

Santana opened her mouth, ready to yell whatever Spanish obscenities came into her mind. But before the words could manifest, the locker next to hers slammed shut. Santana looked over and saw Brittany walking towards the two football players.

"What did you just call her?" demanded Brittany.

Santana was stunned. She had never seen Brittany this angry. Azimio and Karofsky just laughed some more.

"I said, 'sup dyke'. Got a problem with that, Barbie?" said Azimio with a smile.

Brittany furrowed her eyebrows.

"Um, yeah, actually I have a big problem with that." She began balling her hands into fists.

Azimio and Karofsky look at each other and laugh nervously. They try to hide the fact that they are actually a little scared of Brittany's spider monkey-like nimbleness.

"Oh really?" asked Karofsky. "And what are you gonna do about it?"

Brittany took a determined step forward. Santana grabbed her arm to stop her. As Brittany looked at the girl in front of her, Santana smiled and winked at her. Brittany smiled back, knowing that Santana was about to unleash some pent up anger.

Santana turned towards the football players with a demonic smile on her face.

"Okay boys, so what's the problem here?" she asked, feigning niceness.

Azimio stepped forward smiling seductively.

"Oh baby, I ain't got a problem with a little girl-on-girl. You know what I'm saying?" he replied. "But it's when eatin' pussy is _all _a girl likes to do that I think it gets kinda disgusting. There needs to be a man up in there."

Santana rolled her eyes.

"Poor little Azimio. You sound a little sexually frustrated. What's wrong? Is your boy Karofsky here not servicing you as much as he used to?" replied Santana with sass.

Karofsky stopped laughing and scowled. Azimio no longer had a smile on his face.

"I know it must be hard for the two of you to know that I get more action with hotter girls than you could ever dream of. And the fact that I can please a woman in ways that you two will never understand while you guys just lay there and poke girls with your skinny dicks must really piss you off." Santana paused.

Karofsky and Azimio stood, dumbfounded.

"But if you guys ever walk up to me and call me that name again, I swear to god I will flatten your sorry asses and I will enjoy doing it, do you understand?" Santana said with confidence and pride.

She held her ground. She looked tiny in front of the two giant football players. Karofsky and Azimio eyed one another, obviously understanding that if they stood there any longer, Santana would most likely make good on her threat. Azimio chuckled nervously.

"Fine, ya know what? We're gonna get out of here and go find some chicks that are actually normal and enjoy _real_ men."

And with that, Karofsky and Azimio high fived and walked away. Both looking back at least once to make sure that Santana wasn't following them.

Santana chuckled to herself. She forgot how fun it was to give attitude. She turned around and Brittany was smiling.

"That's more like it," said Brittany, beaming with pride.

Brittany walked forward and put her arm around Santana's shoulders. The two girls laughed as they made their way down the hall.

They both made their way to Santana's car and got in. Santana didn't need to ask if Brittany needed a ride and Brittany didn't need to ask for one. They understood one another on a much deeper level, one that didn't require words. Even on small things such as a ride home from school.

Santana pulled into Brittany's driveway and they both got out of the car and walked inside. Brittany threw her backpack next to the door. Her dance bag was sitting next to the couch. Brittany always had a dance bag packed. She never knew when she'd feel like running to the studio to rehearse. Santana followed suit and threw her bag next to Brittany's. They made their way into Brittany's bedroom where Lord Tubbington was resting comfortably on the bed.

"Hey LT. What's crackin'?" asked Santana.

Brittany smiled as Lord Tubbington looked thoroughly unamused. Brittany walked over to her computer and turned on iTunes. Adele's "Someone Like You" began playing. It was in the middle of the song. Santana smiled at the thought that Brittany was obviously listening to this song on her own. She allowed her mind to entertain the thought that maybe Britt was thinking about her while listening to it.

Soon, both girls could hear the jingle of keys in the door. Brittany's mom was home. Santana smiled. She really like Brittany's mom. She was sweet and personable, unlike her own mother.

"Come on," said Brittany. "Let's go say hi."

They got up and walked out into the living room. Brittany's mom burst through the door, carrying a laptop bag, dry cleaning, and a bag of takeout food.

"Hey Brittany, can you help me out with these bags?" she asked, somewhat scatterbrained.

Her eyes then fell on Santana.

"Hey San, how ya doing?"

Santana smiled at the woman in front of her. She loved when Brittany's mom called her "San". In fact, it was Brittany's mom who first started calling her that. Brittany picked it up over the years. It had become one of Santana's favorite words to hear.

"I'm good Luanne, and you?" replied a particularly chipper Santana.

"I'm great!" said Luanne enthusiastically. "I got myself a hot date tonight!"

All three of the girls laughed at this statement.

"Mom, I don't know if I'd exactly call Darryl a 'hot date'" said Brittany with a laugh.

Luanne chuckled some more before becoming slightly calmer.

"You sure you'll be alright alone tonight? I feel bad leaving you here by yourself."

"Mom, I've stayed home alone loads of times, I'll be fine" replied Brittany.

Luanne shook her head. She looked over at Santana and smiled sharply.

"I know!" she exclaimed. "San, why don't you stay over tonight?"

Santana stopped laughing immediately. She looked over at Brittany nervously. They hadn't had a sleepover in weeks thanks to a little incident at their lockers. Santana didn't know what to do. Usually a sleepover meant lots of cuddling, and at least a little scissoring. But she found it hard to do these things now that the truth was out.

"I don't know Luanne," stated Santana nervously. "I have a lot of homework to do."

Brittany looked down at the floor. That wasn't the answer that she wanted. But she at least understood why.

"Don't be silly, just do it here. Please San, it'd make me feel a whole lot better. Please?" Luanne began to feign whimpering.

Santana couldn't help but laugh.

"Of course I'll stay over. Go have fun on your _hot _date."

Luanne gathered her things and kissed each girl on the forehead as she left.

"Be good, girls" she called out before closing the door behind her.

Santana and Brittany stood awkwardly. They didn't make eye contact. The silence hung over them uncomfortably. Finally Brittany broke the silence.

"Wanna go upstairs?" she asked. "We can start on our homework."

Santana shrugged and followed Brittany to her room. They sat and did homework for awhile. Well, Santana did homework. Brittany stayed on her computer, changing the songs every thirty seconds until she found one that she could really dance to. Santana was occupied with trying not to stare at Brittany's perfect abs twist and turn as she danced around the room to Jet's "Are You Gonna Be My Girl".

This went on for a few hours. Santana was able to lighten up a little. She was less tense about staying over with Britt. As long as she kept her mind on her homework, she was less worried. In fact, they ended up having fun. They chatted about glee club and who had stolen whose boyfriend this week. They laughed about Finn and his inability to dance. Santana was happy to be able to get things relatively back to normal.

"I've missed this," said Brittany with a sigh.

Santana smiled. She had missed it too. But before she could reply, a loud ding rang from Brittany's computer. Both girls looked over to see an instant message from Artie.

Rappingwheels94: Hey baby, what are ya up to?

Brittany looked over at Santana. Her demeanor had changed drastically. Santana turned away and sat back down on Brittany's bed, continuing with her homework. Brittany walked over to the computer and wrote out a reply.

CheerioBrittBritt: Um, I can't really talk right now. Santana's here. I'll call you tomorrow?

She then turned off her computer and sat down on the bed next to Santana. Santana kept her eyes focused on her algebra assignment. Brittany tried to lighten the mood.

"So did you see what Rachel was wearing today? She's like completely desperate to get Finn back."

Santana continued to stare down at her paper.

"Yep" she said with no enthusiasm.

Brittany pouted slightly.

"What happened?" she asked. "I thought we were having fun."

Santana looked up.

"We are" she replied.

"No, now you seem all sad" Brittany paused. "Is it because Artie messaged me?"

Santana rolled her eyes.

"No. Why would I care about that? I just need to get my math done."

Brittany sighed, frustrated.

"Why won't you be honest with me?" she asked.

Santana closed her math book but continued looking away from Brittany.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Brittany was visibly frustrated now.

"Yes you do. Ever since you told me you loved me, you haven't been honest with me. We haven't really talked. And we were good and having fun right now and then all of a sudden, you shut off."

Santana stood up from the bed and looked at Brittany.

"What do you want me to say, Britt?" she raised her voice.

"I just want you to be honest with me about what you're feeling." Brittany was speaking louder as well.

"You want me to be honest?" Santana was practically yelling. "You want me to tell you that you are my every thought from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed? You want me to tell you that I would never, in a thousand years, have come out to anyone if it wasn't for you? You want me to tell you that just seeing Artie message you online sends me into a rage because he has you and I don't? You want me to tell you that for my entire life, I've been a second choice and you were the one person who I thought would put me first? You want me to tell you that I have to remind myself to breathe whenever I look at you because I forget how? Is that really what you want, Britt? Is that what you want to hear?"

Santana's eyes filled with tears. Brittany was stunned and for a moment didn't know how to react. Her heart ached for Santana.

"San, you're not a second choice with me. You're no-"

"Yes I am!" yelled Santana through tears. "You don't get it. I told you how I felt and you still stayed with him. I'm in love with you, Britt. Knowing that you're with him kills me. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything. And I can't make you pick me but I am so tired of being the second choice, the backup plan."

Tears flowed freely from both the eyes of both girls. Brittany reached forward and grabbed Santana's arm.

"You're not my second choice. You've never been a second choice for me. You are everything to me, Santana. Why can't you see that?"

"Because you are still with him. All I want is you and yet you still chose him!"

As Santana yelled the last word of her sentence, Brittany lunged forward, pushing Santana into the wall behind her. She then grabbed Santana's face and pulled it towards her own, capturing her lips as she did so. Santana immediately reached for Brittany's hips, pulling them towards her body. The kiss was passionate and deep. Santana breathed Brittany in. She wanted to make sure that all five of her senses were experiencing this.

Brittany's tongue quickly entered Santana's mouth. The darker girl welcomed it freely. Santana's hands moved slowly up and down Brittany's body as she moaned into the kiss. They broke apart reluctantly as both girls needed to breathe. Brittany looked into Santana's tear filled eyes.

"I want you too" she said breathlessly.

Without missing a beat, Santana reached up to Brittany's neck and pulled her in, desperately wanting her lips once more. While her mouth was busy, Brittany began pulling at Santana's leather jacket, taking it off as quickly as she could. Brittany then moved from Santana's lips down to her jaw line and below, nipping at the tender skin as she made her way down to her neck. Santana leaned her head back, exposing more of her neck, an invitation for Brittany to continue her work. Santana started grabbing at the back of Brittany's shirt, pulling it up over the blonde's head and tossing it quickly on the bed. Brittany continued making her way south, letting her lips caress every inch of Santana's neck and collar bone.

Santana pulled Brittany up so that they were eye level once more. Brittany leaned forward, once again finding the lips that she so desired. Her hands moved down Santana's side, clawing desperately at the fabric of her dress. As her hands arrived at the brunette's thighs, she found the end of the dress. She quickly and gracefully pulled the dress up and off of Santana. Wasting no time, Brittany grabbed Santana's hands and pinned them up against the wall over her head. Santana moaned as Brittany bit down on her lower lip gently. The blonde made her way south once more, kissing Santana's soft skin as she made her way down. She paused as she kissed the fabric of Santana's red bra. Santana squeezed her eyes shut. Brittany continued her was down. Her lips gliding over Santana's body until they landed on the heated fabric of her matching red panties. Santana bit her own lip as she felt Brittany's face near her core. Brittany stood up again as Santana violently ripped off her jeans.

They made their way to the bed as Brittany continued trying to take her pants off. Santana laid on her back as Brittany straddled her. The blonde leaned down, kissing Santana gently. Santana reached around Brittany's back, unclasping her bra, tossing it to the side.

"Take off yours" whispered Brittany.

Santana began taking off her bra as Brittany began pulling off the darker girl's panties. She slinked down as she pulled the red lacy panties down to Santana's ankles. Then, kissing her way back up, Brittany eagerly pulled Santana's legs around her waist. Santana immediately wrapped her legs around the blonde, pulling her face in for another kiss. While her mouth was busy, Brittany's hand traveled south, stopping at Santana's breasts. She squeezed gently at the perky nipples, causing Santana to gasp. Her hand continued its descent and hovered over the spot where Santana needed her most. Brittany could feel the warmth coming from her core as Santana tangled her fingers in her hair.

"Please" whispered Santana eagerly.

Without wasting time, Brittany slid two fingers between Santana's folds. Even Brittany was surprised by the amount of moisture she discovered. Santana threw her head back as Brittany's fingers began gliding rhythmically around her clit. The blonde took this opportunity to suck on Santana's neck.

Santana, not wanting anymore teasing, reached down and placed her hand over Brittany's, prompting her to insert her fingers into her core. Brittany smiled at Santana's eagerness and began pumping her fingers rhythmically. Santana bucked her hips along with Brittany's motions. She held on to the gorgeous, sweaty blonde hair for dear life.

"Oh God, Britt!" yelled Santana.

Brittany continued her work. She continued to suck on the soft, dark skin of Santana's neck while moving her fingers in and out of Santana, curling them occasionally.

"Don't stop," said Santana through leftover tears. "Please, don't stop."

Brittany could hear the eagerness in her voice and brought her thumb over the spot Santana needed most. Santana moaned loudly as her legs clamped down hard around Brittany's waist. Brittany began bucking her own hips against Santana's, giving her fingers more intensity.

Santana moved her hands down to Brittany's back just as one last thrust sent her over the edge. Brittany felt ten sharp fingernails did into her back as the muscles of Santana's walls contracted around her fingers. Santana's nails dragged down Brittany's back until she came down from her high. She exhaled slowly and Brittany pulled her fingers out from their hiding place. Brittany collapsed into Santana, breathing hard. Santana put her hand on Brittany's head and embraced her fully. Both girls' breathing was labored and intense.

Brittany rolled onto her side, keeping her arms tightly around Santana. Neither girl dared to speak. Brittany shut her eyes and within a few minutes was able to fall asleep.

Santana on the other hand stared up at the ceiling, trying not to let slumber take over. She looked around the dark room, trying to make sure that she wasn't already dreaming. She turned her head to look at the sleeping blonde next to her. Santana had trouble believing that this had actually happened. She leaned over and kissed Brittany's forehead, inhaling her sweet scent.

Brittany inhaled sharply.

"I love you, San" she whispered sleepily.

Santana's eyes began to tear up.

"I love you too, Britt" she whispered.

And with that, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to sleep, for once feeling completely at peace.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hey everyone, so sorry for such a long wait. Writer's block and job applications will do that to you. Anyway, thank you for all the kind comments on the last chapter, I hope you guys enjoy this one just as much. And the rating on this is now officially at an M. Sorry about the confusion on the last chapter. So keep reading and I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

><p>The sun was always harsh in the morning. Brittany's room faced east. This meant that every morning, the sun and heat would come spilling into her room around six am. Because of this, Brittany never really needed an alarm clock. Today was no exception. Brittany squinted as she always did when the light reached her face. She tossed and turned for a moment before resigning to the fact that it was time to wake up. She let out a long yawn and propped herself up on her elbows, looking towards the sun coming in through the window.<p>

Santana watched closely as Brittany gradually woke up, examining her face and body movements. She, herself, had already been up for at least an hour, unable to get back to sleep and unwilling to wake the beautiful lady sleeping next to her. She watched as the sunlight reflected off of Brittany's gorgeous golden locks. Brittany turned her head and looked at the girl in bed beside her. A large smile crossed her face as the memories of the previous evening came flooding back to her.

"San" said Brittany gingerly with a smile.

Santana couldn't help but smile back. Brittany leaned in and lightly pressed her lips against the brunette's. Santana's heart began to flutter. Brittany pulled away slowly, once again gazing at the beauty next to her.

"You haven't been up long, have you?" she asked.

"No, just a couple of minutes" lied Santana.

Brittany smiled and laid her head on Santana's chest, allowing Santana's arms to pull her in tight. She closed her eyes and nuzzled her head against Santana's warm skin. Santana kissed the top of Brittany's head gently, taking in her intoxicating smell. They lay like this for several minutes, just soaking each other in. Brittany saw this moment as something she had longed for. Her desire to be intimate with Santana had gone long unattended. She used this moment to allow herself to feel one with Santana, much like they used to. Her innocence allowed her to appreciate this moment. Whereas Santana viewed this moment as terrifying. Her mind was flooded with questions. What does this mean? Is she going to dump Artie? Will we finally be together? Santana wanted to know the answers to these questions. Correction, she _needed_ to know.

Santana didn't want to ruin this moment. It had been a long time since they were able to be this comfortable with each other. Not since before Santana told Brittany that she loved her. But Santana knew that she wanted more than this. More than the occasional "sleepover". More than just best friends. And this was something they needed to settle now. Santana cleared her throat.

"Um, Britt?" she said nervously.

Brittany's smile faded. She could sense the serious tone coming from her best friend. She lifted up her head slowly.

"Yeah, San?"

"I think we need to talk. Like, _really_ talk" Santana looked at her hands as she spoke.

Brittany sat up slowly, her eyes focused on Santana's. Santana's own eyes refused to look up. Brittany reached her hand forward and rested it on Santana's thigh.

"Okay," said Brittany calmly. "Let's talk."

Santana looked up and Brittany and gave a nervous half-smile. She then jumped out of bed, keeping the purple sheet wrapped around her body and she ran into the bathroom. Brittany looked alarmed.

"Santana, what are you doing?"

Santana ignored the blonde for a moment, scurrying around the room, picking up articles of clothing and tossing them at Brittany as she went along.

"San?" said Brittany again.

Santana stood up and looked at Brittany. Holding the sheet firmly in place, she reached up and pulled a long piece of hair from her mouth.

"We're about to have a very serious conversation," began Santana breathlessly. "I can't talk to you about serious stuff if you're gonna sit there being all beautiful and naked and...naked."

Brittany couldn't help but chuckle at Santana's nervousness. Santana had to laugh slightly, herself. Brittany began putting on her clothes slowly as Santana did the same. Santana was careful not to look at the blonde before she was fully clothed.

"Okay, San, I'm dressed now" said Brittany with sass. "You can turn around now and stop being weird."

Santana turned around to face Brittany. She walked forward and motioned for Brittany to sit with her on the bed. As they both sat down, Santana searched her mind for the right words to say. She figured _hey so that amazing sex we had last night was fun right? You should dump Artie now _wouldn't be appropriate.

"So about last night..." Santana was unsure how to finish the statement.

"It was fun" grinned Brittany.

Santana smiled and nodded.

"Yes, it definitely was." Santana's face then turned serious. "But do you remember what I told you about us? About doing that kind of stuff together?"

Brittany looked away. Santana's eyes darted across her face, trying to know what she was thinking.

"You said that we couldn't do this stuff anymore" said Brittany softly. "Unless we were together. Like _really_ together."

Santana's heart began to beat loudly in her chest. She fiddled with her hands until she realized how sweaty they were. She wiped them on her dress.

"I know I did. Do you know why I said that?"

"You don't want to share me?" asked Brittany with uncertainty in her voice.

Santana looked down and stalled.

"Yes, but it's more than that."

Brittany reached forward and put a reassuring hand on top of Santana's. Santana looked up and made sure that the blonde was looking back at her. She locked onto her eyes and without words, made sure that Brittany would understand the sincerity and honesty that she meant for her to hear in her next words.

"Britt, I love you" said Santana.

Brittany curled up half of her mouth into a slight smile.

"But it's not just that. I _need_ you. We've known each other since we were kids, and I've known that I loved you from the first day we met. You are everything to me" she paused.

" And the reason I said that we couldn't do this sort of thing unless we were together is because it hurts too much to know that you're not mine. That's why last night was such a big deal. Because last night, you made me feel like you were mine. But more importantly, you made me feel like I was yours. And that's all I've ever wanted, Britt. That's the only thing I've ever truly cared about."

Santana finished her speech and turned away. Saying those words was one thing, but looking into Brittany's eyes while she said them was another. And the last thing she wanted to hear in return was another rejection. Santana knew that she wouldn't be able to take it.

Brittany squeezed Santana's hand.

"You also told me something else that day," said Brittany, drawing Santana's gaze back up to her eyes. "You also told me that eventually I would need to make a choice."

Santana's heart beat even louder now as she stared at the blonde's lips. Brittany reached forward and put her hand on the side of Santana's neck, her thumb settling lightly on the side of Santana's face. She then smiled.

"I've made up my mind," Brittany lingered a moment before finishing her sentence "I choose you, Santana."

A large grin crept its way across Santana's face and her eyes began to tear. She lunged forward, embracing Brittany with not just her arms, but her entire being. In that moment, Santana gave herself to Brittany, fully and completely. Brittany reciprocated by wrapping her arms tightly around the woman she loved. She moved her mouth near Santana's ear and whispered.

"It's always been you, San. And it always will."

Santana loosened her grip on Brittany and looked her in the eye. She choked back tears and she leaned in and pressed her lips against Brittany's. Brittany broke the kiss earlier than Santana would have liked. Her face turned stern.

"But now I need to talk to Artie." Said Brittany.

Santana was surprised that his name would come up during such an intimate moment, but she remained quiet.

"I need to tell him about us. He's a good guy, San, and he deserves the truth. Before there can be an _us,_ I need to end my relationship with him."

As much as Santana wanted to continue giving herself to Brittany, and maybe have a repeat of last night's activities, she knew that Brittany was right. Santana nodded and then looked at the purple clock sitting on Brittany's desk.

"We should probably get going," said Santana. "Last day before the weekend."

Santana rolled her eyes and smiled. Brittany returned her smile, knowing and thankful that Santana understood. As Brittany turned to walk out of the room, Santana draped her arms over her and hugged tightly. Brittany put her hand on top of Santana's and squeezed. They didn't speak. They really didn't need to.

* * *

><p>Santana pulled up to the school a little earlier than she normally would. Brittany had texted Artie earlier and asked if he could meet her in front of the school before class started. Santana turned off the engine and turned to face Brittany. The smile that was on the blonde's face this morning had disappeared. Brittany looked out the window of Santana's car and stared off into space.<p>

"You okay, B?" asked Santana, already knowing the answer.

Brittany turned towards Santana and gave a small, sad smile. Guilt overcame Santana. She had been so intent on gaining Brittany's love that she hadn't really stopped to think about what it meant for her. Brittany hated hurting people. She always went out of her way to be the nice girl. The girl who would never hurt anyone. And here was Santana, excited that today would mark the end of her relationship with Artie. Santana reached over and put her hand on Brittany's shoulder.

Brittany smiled once more, but Santana could see the sadness behind the smile. The sadness about what she needed to do. Santana breathed in deep.

"You don't have to do this, you know" the words hurt as Santana spoke them.

Brittany furrowed her eyebrows and studied Santana's face. Santana tried to remain stoic. She hated seeing Brittany hurting. Brittany reached up and placed her hand on Santana's cheek, her thumb stroked the soft skin gently.

"Yes I do" replied Brittany definitively.

Santana put her hand over Brittany's and pulled it to her mouth. She placed a small, loving kiss in the palm of her hand and then let go. They each got out of the car and walked towards the school.

Santana saw Artie waiting patiently by the entrance. She turned to face Brittany.

"You gonna be okay?"

Brittany eyed Artie.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

Santana squeezed Brittany's arm and nodded. She then turned and walked ahead, past Artie, and into the school.

Brittany took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She needed a moment before confessing that she cheated on a good man. She nodded, opened her eyes and walked up to Artie.

Artie looked up at Brittany and smiled.

Brittany could feel her heart beating hard in her chest. She tried breathing slower to calm it down. She looked around as she walked towards Artie to see if anyone was looking at her. She could swear that the whole school could hear her heart beating.

"Hey" said Artie cheerfully.

"Hey yourself" replied Brittany with her eyes glued to the ground.

Artie immediately sensed that something was wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

Brittany looked around cautiously.

"How important is it for you to go to your first class?" she asked, still avoiding eye contact.

"It's just band; I guess they could spare me for one period, why?"

"Can we go to the choir room? We need to talk"

Artie felt his heart sink. _What could this be about?_ He nodded and waited as Brittany walked around to the back of his chair and began pushing him into the school.

Around the corner, Santana watched as Brittany pushed Artie into the choir room. Santana had never felt so conflicted. Her heart swelled with the knowledge that she was finally on the right track to get her girl, after years of waiting and wanting. But at what cost? The look on Britt's face as she walked into the choir room sent pains through Santana. She hated seeing Brittany upset. And even though this time it meant something positive for the two of them, Santana still couldn't shake the guilt.

The bell rang and Santana began walking towards her first class, but not before stopping to glace back at the choir room door one more time. She frowned and walked away, reassuring herself that things would get better.

Artie rolled himself into the choir room as Brittany closed the door behind her. She looked around the room. She had so many memories in this room. So many moments where she was reminded that everyone in glee was her family. So many times she let the music take her away as she sang, blocking out the rest of the world. So many good and cherished memories. But now, she was about to make a memory that she did not want. The memory of hurting someone she cared about.

"Britt, did you hear me?"

Artie's voice ripped Brittany away from her memories.

"What?"

"I asked you what was wrong, you seem upset" replied Artie nervously.

Brittany walked silently to the piano and sat down. She looked down as she clasped her hands together.

"We need to talk" she said, eyes fixated on her hands.

"Okay, about what?" asked Artie calmly.

Brittany looked up at the boy in front of her.

"About us."

Artie rolled forward cautiously.

"Okay. I have to be honest, you're kinda scaring me a little."

Brittany took a deep breath.

"There's something that I have to tell you" she began. "And this something that I have to tell you is going to hurt you. But before I say it, please know, that I never intended on hurting anyone. Especially you."

Artie sat up straight in his chair. His nervous smile faded and a stern, yet scared look appeared in its place. Brittany waited for a response, but one never came. They sat in silence for a few moments. Brittany's head swirled with all the possible ways she could say what she needed to say.

Words were never her strong suit. She usually just blurted out whatever came to her head. But this situation was delicate. It needed thought and consideration. She squeezed her eyes shut for a split second and then knew she was ready.

"Artie, I slept with Santana last night."

It was just above a whisper. She hung her head slightly and allowed her hair to fall around her face. She couldn't look up at Artie. Not yet. She needed to be prepared for the look on his face, the disappointment in his eyes.

They sat in silence for a minute, but the silence was louder than anything they could have said to each other.

Brittany slowly lifted her head. Artie's head was turned. He was staring at one of the chairs, or the ground, or something. The hurt on his face was almost unbearable.

Brittany felt awful. She wanted to reach out and grab his hand but didn't know if she should. She didn't know what to do. All of a sudden, a voice cut through the silence.

"Was that the first time?"

Artie didn't look at her as he spoke. Brittany's mouth suddenly felt dry. He tongue felt like sandpaper against the roof of her mouth. She hung her head again and her voice cracked as she spoke.

"No."

Artie grunted. He looked over at Brittany. Her head hung low, but she raised it. She was surprised to see Artie looking at her.

"Artie, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

Artie looked away briefly. Brittany studied his face. She was ready for it. She knew that this would be the moment. When he turned back, he would be mean. He would yell. He would dump her. She deserved it. All of these thoughts swarmed in her head.

"I love you"

Brittany's head was silenced.

_Wait, what?_

Brittany looked up at Artie. He looked hurt, but there was something about him that was different.

"You what?" asked Brittany, completely flabbergasted.

"I love you."

Brittany was shocked. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to be mad. He was supposed to yell. He was supposed to break up with her. Brittany searched her head for something to say but floundered. Her mouth hung open and she had no words to fill it with.

"Look," began Artie. "I know you and _Santana_" he cringed on the word "have always had a close relationship. And I can't say I've always been happy about how close you two are. But I know that she can sometimes take advantage of you."

Brittany looked away quickly. How dare he say that about Santana. But still, she couldn't find words.

"I still love you, Brittany. And I still want to make this work. You were honest with me. I appreciate that."

Brittany was still in shock. What was she supposed to say?

"Y-you don't want to break up with me?" she asked.

Artie knew immediately what she meant. It was she who wanted to break up with him.

"No. I don't. And I know you're probably confused right now. But I don't think you want to break up with me either."

"I-"

"Please," interrupted Artie. "Just take a day to think about it. For me."

Brittany looked up into Artie's eyes. They were so sad. She closed her eyes and nodded slowly. Artie leaned forward and gave her a light kiss on her forehead. He then wheeled himself out of the room.

Brittany sat alone at the piano in the choir room, trying to figure out what had just happened.

"Shit" she whispered.

* * *

><p>Santana had barely walked out of her class when she felt something grab her arm and pull hard.<p>

"Jesus, Britt, you're gonna yank my arm out of its socket!"

Brittany continued pulling until they reached the choir room.

"Britt, what the hell?" exclaimed Santana as Brittany finally released her arm.

She looked at Brittany and knew immediately that something was wrong.

"Britt, what happened?"

Brittany remained silent.

"Son of a bitch, did he hurt you? I swear to God, I'm gonna kill that four eyed bastard."

Santana began lunging towards the door when Brittany grabbed her arm again.

"No, San, he didn't hurt me."

"Well then what the hell happened, B? You're making me nervous. How'd he take the break up?"

Brittany looked down.

"He didn't."

Santana squinted her eyes. She had no idea what was going on.

"What do you mean he didn't?"

Santana grabbed Brittany's hands and began rubbing them lightly with her thumbs.

"I mean we didn't break up. He wanted me to think it over for a day."

Santana stopped rubbing. She released Brittany's hands. Her expression quickly changed from confused to upset.

"You didn't break up with him?"

Brittany shook her head.

"You're staying with him?"

Santana heard her voice crack. _Don't cry dammit, do not cry right now_.

Brittany walked forward and grabbed Santana's hands this time.

"No. No, I'm not."

She reached up and cupped Santana's chin, moving it up so that she'd look at her.

"I want _you_."

Santana sniffled back a few tears.

"But Artie wanted me to take a day to think about it. I owe him that much. But it won't change my decision. I still choose you."

Brittany leaned forward and embraced Santana in a desperate hug. She needed her to know how much she cared. Even if she had to wait a day to fully commit to it.

Santana hugged back. She allowed her heart rate to slow down.

Just then, Mr. Schuester walked into the room. He slowed his walk as he spotted Santana and Brittany.

"Hey guys, is everything okay?"

The two girls broke apart.

"Yeah" they said at the same time.

"Okay," he replied cheerfully. "I'm glad you guys are here early, I've got an announcement about Nationals that I'm pretty excited about."

Santana and Brittany looked at each other and walked over to the chairs to take their seats. Other members of the glee club began filing in. Brittany sat in the bottom row and Santana walked past her to sit at the top.

"San-" said Brittany, confused.

"One more day" whispered Santana. "Then we can sit together."

Brittany frowned.

Artie wheeled himself into the choir room, followed by Puck. By the look on Puck's face, it was obvious that Artie had told him what had happened. Santana glanced at Artie, who shot a death glare. He rolled his eyes and looked away.

_I guess that's one more person who's gonna join the I Hate Santana Club_ she thought.

He wheeled himself next to Brittany and sat silently. Santana thought about spitting her gum at the back of his head but figured that wouldn't be the wisest idea.

"Okay everybody listen up" announced Mr. Schue.

The choir room died down.

"As you all know, Nationals is coming up in just a couple short weeks. And we need to raise money. So, Rachel has been kind enough to organize a car wash tomorrow."

The glee club groaned collectively as Rachel walked up to join Mr. Schue at the front of the class.

"Tomorrow, we are all going to meet outside of the 7/11 on Van Buren and Rosewood at 7 am."

Santana shook her head.

"Seriously, hobbit? Some of us have plans. Just because you don't have a life doesn't mean that we don't."

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree, this is sort of short notice" said Mercedes.

"Guys, we need to raise money or else we're not going to New York. I'm sure whatever plans you have, they can wait" replied Mr. Schue.

"I guess we can give up one Saturday if it means we can go to New York" said Tina.

Murmurs indicated that the rest of the glee club begrudgingly agreed.

"So it's settled then. Tomorrow at 7 am, the glee club is putting on a car wash!" exclaimed Mr. Schue, who was clearly more excited than everyone else.

Santana looked down at the blonde sitting in front of her. Brittany remained quiet for the rest of the meeting. She never looked up. Santana could read her like a book. Her heart ached for not only herself and the fact that she'd have to wait even longer before Brittany was officially hers, but also for Brittany. She knew that this must be tearing her up inside.

Brittany turned back to look up at Santana. As they looked at one another, Brittany apologized with her eyes. Santana curled the right side of her lips upwards and shrugged.

"It's okay" she mouthed.

She could handle _one_ more day, right?

Right?


End file.
